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How much further can I fall before I rise back up?
What if there’s no option to rise?
What if tonight doesn’t go well and all my plans fail?
You hear countless stories of women who choose the wrong path but end up finding the right one. I suppose the one thing they have in common is that they had to go through hell first.
This feels like my hell. I know I have to survive it, but I'm way in over my head.
What’s worse is I’m starting to feel like I really did sell my soul to the devil by working here and agreeing to this auction.
Not even the prospect of the money I stand to gain from tonight will make me feel better about that. And I’m worried about Gina.
After last night, I took the day off from working at the café and the school. I would have stayed away from the club, too, but of all the jobs I had today, this is the one I couldn't miss. Gina seemed fine throughout the day, and I left her with one of the support workers from the hospital, but I’m still worried.
She’s never complained about chest pains before. I know from losing my mother that chest pains are a serious thing you shouldn’t ignore.
Mom died of a heart attack. She had an undiagnosed heart condition that took her away from me way too soon. I was only twelve when it happened.
We were at Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family when she collapsed in the kitchen. That was the last time I saw her. It would kill me if the same thing were to happen to Gina.
Here's hoping that I get the money I’m hoping for tonight and that I don’t have to stay out too long. I’ll head home as soon as I’m able to.
The door opens to my left, and Zara pokes her head in with a big smile on her face.
“Wow. You look absolutely amazing.”
I don't even know what to say to her.Amazingis not the word I'd use to describe me.
“Thank you.” My voice reflects my inner thoughts, but she doesn't seem to notice.
“We’re ready for you now. The auction is about to start.”
“Okay. I’ll be out in two minutes.”
“Sure, and please don’t be nervous. It's gonna be a great night.” She sounds like we've won some extravagant prize.
I guesstheyhave. There are thirty-five girls taking part in tonight’s auction. The club stands to bring in at least half a million dollars tonight.
“I’ll be fine,” I assure Zara, hoping I sound believable.
“Okay, see you out there.”
She leaves. When the door closes, I drag in a deep, deep breath and try to focus.
Twenty thousand dollars, River, and that’s a minimum. It could be much more but hopefully not less.
Icando this. I'm just tired. Physically and mentally.
But tiredness can’t be my enemy tonight. Nothing can and will, not even the loss of my dignity.
Summoning courage, I take a final breath, shrug into my dressing robe, then leave.
I make my way to the backstage area of the main hall. It looks like the one I usually dance in but has an auditorium layout. And it's packed.
It's packed with men of all different ages, shapes, sizes, and wealth.
I make my way to the section where the other girls are waiting in costumes as revealing as the one I’m wearing. As they’re all veterans of auctions past and present, none of them seem to mind.
