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Ican’t think of a time I’ve cried in my life. I think I stopped showing tears and weakness towards my father at some point, and when Pops died, I had years of practice, plus the Army’s vigorous training had made me a paragon of stoicism. But now, all that is shot to hell because as Luna walks towards me, my eyes are misting over and I’m stifling back a traitorous sob. My tough as nails warrior looks like a princess right now on her father’s arm as they walk the path of white rose petals.
Her brown hair is down and elegantly straight, with, of course, some purple strands peeking out from beneath. Her almond brown eyes are sparkling at me from down the aisle, and it looks like she’s holding back tears of her own.
I don’t know what’s come over me – if it’s her pale purple gown with sparkling silver flowers over the bodice and lacey skirts, or the culmination of emotions along the journey that brought us here. There’s no question that it’s both, it has to be.
After I re-proposed to Luna I brought her home, and the last year has been spent loving and growing together. I’ve still been going to therapy, sometimes on my own, and sometimes with her by my side. We’ve still hit our share of bumps in the road. We have the occasional fight, sometimes over something dumb, like me leaving the cap off the toothpaste or her stealing the covers, and sometimes it’s more serious than that. But the difference is we both know without a doubt that the other isn’t going anywhere.
The hardest part on both our ends has been letting the other care for us during hard times. We’ve both had a hard time letting the other wear the armor when it’s needed, but it’s worth it to feel the life you’re infused with when it’s your turn. Like when she has a nightmare about what happened to her with her ex, I gently wake her and bring her a cold glass of water and sit with her until she’s okay. And when the roles are reversed and I’m dreaming about being back on the battlefield, she gets me to turn over and acts as the big spoon, lulling me out of the terror. And then she’s kind enough to trade spots in the morning.
Our first year was a rough one but we made it, and today we celebrate another one on our second anniversary, with close family and friends present. We had the idea together to renew our vows and have the ceremony we didn’t before, and being that it’s warm enough for an outdoor wedding but the schools haven’t let out yet, we were able to do this in the place where it all started.
Luna’s famous uncle, Matt, has not only helped with some of the costs, but at Luna’s persistence, is actually serenading our ceremony from the dock. It’s him alone, without the rest of his band, Turn it Up, with him, as he wanted today to be about us. With his acoustic guitar, he sings a cover of “Heart Medicine” by Judah and the Lion, and as Luna gets closer to where I stand waiting in the clearing by the lake, I lose the fight against my emotions.
That damn sob breaks free, and I bring my fist up to my lips trying to stifle it as Luna sniffs and draws in a steadying breath, trying to blink back her own tears. The one minister from our town made the journey to Camp Mystic Hills to conduct our ceremony today, and when he asks who presents Luna, Ben speaks up, stating that he and Kasey do. After doing so, he presses a sweet kiss to Luna’s temple, but instead of stepping away to join his wife and son, he comes forward.
As I even myself out with another long breath, I give him a curious look as he comes to stand beside me. Once I realize what he’s doing, I have to start all over again trying not to lose my shit. With Pops and Alex both gone, I didn’t have anyone to stand beside me today, but Ben found a way to be there for both Luna and me.
Luna hands her bouquet off to Cassidy, who’s donned a cream-colored gown, before turning to me and we take each other’s hands. Looking into each other’s eyes, we give each other a reassuring smile, take a deep, synchronized breath, and give each other’s hands a hard squeeze as we vow forever, only better and stronger than before.
I sniff and sigh through our vows like a hopeless idiot, with Luna occasionally reaching up to wipe a drop of moisture from my eyes. And when it’s over, I kiss her like it’s for the first time.
* * *
After family pictures,we moved the gathering onto the covered patio that’s been adorned with hanging lights and a plethora of white and purple flowers. I hold Luna close to me as we dance for the first time, not caring that we’re not putting on some choreographed ballroom performance for anyone. In fact, for those three minutes, there might as well not even be anyone else here.
When all the fun traditions are out of the way, music blasts as food and champagne circulates, and we catch up with all of our guests.
We’ve had a busy last year, moving forward with Lavender Moon, and integrating ourselves more into Coyote Creek when we’re not in the city for school or developments on the art center, that Luna had the brilliant idea to teach classes in one room, and offer tattoos of our featured artwork in the other. We’re only a few weeks from opening, and we’re taking that time for the honeymoon we never got to have before – again, financed by her Uncle Matt, who assures us there’s a hidden gem in the UK we should check out. While I worry about paying him back for a lavish gift, he’s directed us to simply pay it forward.
We’ve gotten to know the people in our little town well enough that a lot of them made the trip for the wedding.
I’m surprised to see Jace from the fire department made it, as he’s not very social, but he’d been a rookie when Pops volunteered and felt a strong enough connection to make the effort. West, on the other hand, has become a good friend. I drop by occasionally to check on Shane Automotive which doesn’t bother him in the least. Sometimes I even lend a hand when a mechanic is out sick. I’m glad to have him here, but what’s got me baffled is why in the hell he’s acting so twitchy. He stands awkwardly against the bar next to me, nursing a whiskey while I sip on one of my allotted beers of the night.
“What’s with you, man?” I ask while I lift my chin at him and give him a jokingly scrutinizing look.
“What are you talking about?” he plays off, looking around the dance floor, and I can tell it’s not for anything in particular other than to avoid my eyes.
“You’ve looked all jittery and nervous this whole time,” I supply, taking a pull and swallowing. “You would’ve thought you were the one getting married.”
“Pffft,” he scoffs. “Hell to the no. And besides, you didn’t even really get married today, ‘cause you know, you already were.”
“Yeah, well, it was fast and clandestine before.” I lift a shoulder as I justify today. “And we went through some difficult times after that. We’re celebrating a fresh start.”
He almost has me distracted with his small talk regarding my nuptials, but when a few people clear off the dance floor, Luna comes into view, dancing with Matty, and West’s head immediately snaps in the other direction, before he quickly curbs his movements, trying to act casual as he turns to face the bar. I look back over to Luna and then back to him with a pinched brow and then suddenly, it all clicks together. Anytime Luna’s within twenty paces, he looks away.
“Alright, out with it,” I demand as I turn to mirror his position, and set my beer down on the bar to let him know I mean business. My attention is solely on him, and he can’t avoid that.
“What?” He gives an exasperated shrug as his eyebrows go up.
“You’ve not looked at my wife once all evening, and that’s no small feat considering she’s the bride. Cut the shit, what’s your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem!” he protests indignantly.
“Good, then look at her,” I order, waving a hand in Luna’s direction.
“Fine,” he says calmly but draws in a steadying breath before he turns. What the fuck? He takes a look at Luna as she gives Matty a playful noogie. West’s jaw is set hard enough to crack a molar, and he’s holding his fucking breath. Then, as if he’s been counting the seconds, he lets out his breath and turns. “See, I looked at her,” he says and scoops his drink back up.
Son of a fucking bitch…
