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Tilting my head, I smile back at him. “Hey, soldier.”
28
KALEB
For the last two months, Luna’s been acting… well, herself… but it’s like she’s turned it up a notch and it’s got me confused. The idea that I’m confusing myself is just one of the many swirling around in the tornado of turmoil in my brain at the moment.
Between the fucked-up hours I’m keeping, the sullen and apathetic attitudes my brothers have taken on – and rubbed off on me some – and just the plain uncertainty all have me not knowing which way is up. Finding some of my brothers drenched in their own blood as their body slowly dies next to a civilian they were trying to save, has jaded some of the rest of my platoon to the point where it’s just like another day at the office for them, whereas I seem to be using all my mental energy on holding onto my sense of humanity. What little bandwidth I have leftover tries to make sense of everything else, but ends up just tying me into knots.
Just like I try not to turn to the dark side and lose my empathy for the lives injured and lost over here, I try to hold onto the notion that my Luna is doing nothing more than trying to give me one less thing to worry about. And then that begs the question of what it is she’s not telling me in the interest of that.
Whatever it is, it can’t be about Pops’ shop and the new hire, West. Just like last time she updated me, she’s had nothing but positive things to say about the guy and his work ethic.
“He works hard and gets the job done right, at least according to Jackson.” She lifts the shoulder that’s keeping Jackson’s young son hoisted on her hip, the very same one that she relieved him of when we met in the office just before my deployment. She’s been babysitting for him and his wife; her way of contributing, as she put it.
“That’s so good to hear,” I sigh in relief, shaking my head at the news as I watch her carry the small boy towards the shop via the video screen. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black; I’ve been doing the same thing I’m recently suspecting her of: acting like everything is a-okay so that she doesn’t worry. She flashes me another smile as she turns her head to watch her step as she maneuvers through one of the garage bays, and I notice one of the back strands of her hair hanging down from her messy bun. The purple she normally keeps hidden back there has faded some.
“And look!” She raises her brows before I can even comment on it. Her brown eyes dazzle behind her lashes with the smile she’s maintaining as she shifts the phone away to showcase her entrance into the office. As she pans her phone across the desk, I find it in tidy, clean, and dare I say, orderly condition. It’s completely clear of clutter, and when she shifts the camera up, I see Jackson sitting behind it, lounged back in his chair while he plays around on his phone. He looks laid back and relaxed in comparison to the nervous wreck he was when I left.
“Hey, look at that,” I marvel at the mess-free desk as she hands the now one year-old boy off to his father.
After Jackson thanks her, she makes her way back out the way she came, and I catch a glimpse of West in the background, confidently focusing on twisting a cap in place beneath someone’s hood before glancing at his watch. The shop seriously looks like it’s running just as smooth as when it did with Pops at the helm.
“So,” Luna breathes out, and I can see a puff of white vapor escape her mouth. It’s February and it shows as her cheeks get pink from the cold air, and I can hear the crunch of gravel mixed with snow beneath her feet as she walks back to her car. “This is the part where I go back home and miss the shit out of you while I try to paint.” She rolls her eyes and quirks a half smile at herself.
“What do you mean try to paint?” I guffaw at her choice of words. She seems to falter, her lips falling open as her eyes downcast momentarily but she quickly blinks out of it.
“Eh, you know… just not a lot of inspiration. It’s the weather.” She lifts a casual shoulder as she reaches her car and slouches back against it. “It’s like that in the winter sometimes.”
Being that she and I have never spent time together in the cold months, this is new to me. “Huh…” I lift an eyebrow in thought. “Alright then, well, I have faith you’ll be able to tonight.”
“Why?” She tucks a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.
“Because one of us has to,” I say simply. “And you’re not you if you’re not creating something beautiful.”
Her smile is small, her lips taking on a blue hue as she nods, shifting her eyes off camera.
Yeah… she’s definitely stressed or tired but doesn’t want to tell me. She doesn’t want me to worry, and she’s right to feel that way. I seem to spiral so easy when things go sideways, especially when it’s things that are thousands of miles away that I have no control over. It gives me one of those rare moments where I don’t inwardly question what’s behind her happy-go-lucky demeanor. It’s a peaceful feeling, like everything is as it should be, and I savor it, knowing it will be gone in a matter of moments.
“Speaking of beautiful…” I raise an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to look back at me, and she does, giving me a coy smile. “Watch the mail. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, you know.”
That does it. She may be tough, but my girl is a sucker for romance and she lights right up.
“Shane!” My C.O.’s booming voice makes my shoulders jerk as it rattles the room. “Report for duty!”
“I’ve got to go, baby,” I tell her regretfully, but I’m pleased the smile is back on her face.
“Okay, I love you,” she tells me.
“You too,” I return, before raising a commanding finger at her. “And you hit that canvas.”
She chuckles, rolling her bright brown eyes as I blow her a kiss before signing off.
* * *
Luna
Ughh…I feel so clammy after sweating my ass off during my kickboxing workout and then leaving the facility in West Bridge to make the freezing cold walk to my car. I’ve been at it for months now, taking classes alternating between basic self-defense, kickboxing, and jiujitsu.
