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Love you.
-D
I smiled at the use of my fabricated name, Romeo. I had a feeling that it was going to stick with Daniel. I’d known this guy less than twenty-four hours and he already knew what to say to make me feel calmer. Any anxiety that I had been feeling was washed away in those few words.
I sent him a quick message to thank him and got out of the car, heading towards the house. I still had a key, but now that I wasn’t living there, I hardly used it. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. Although I was feeling calmer than I had been in the car, my nerves were still on edge, the sweat making my hand damp. It wasn’t long before the door opened, and I was greeted by Arthur’s smiling face.
“Richard, what are you doing here? Not that we don’t love seeing you, but aren’t you supposed to be at work? Come in, come in.”
I had to smile at Arthur’s greeting. He was always so excited to see anyone. I walked inside and was immediately greeted by my mum.
“Richard, sweetheart. Why didn’t you let us know you were coming? I would have made a cake.”
I walked up to my mum and gave her a big hug. As I pulled away, she looked at me suspiciously.
“What’s happened?”
“Can’t I give my mum a hug when I arrive now?”
“You can, but you don’t usually. What’s up?”
I took a deep breath just to calm my insides a bit, as they were now doing somersaults. After all, it wasn’t every day that you admitted to your mum that you were gay.
“Can we go in the kitchen and sit down? I need to speak to you about something. To both of you, actually.”
I saw the concern go over my mum’s face. Arthur must have seen it too, as he walked over to her and put his arm around her.
“Come on, Agnes. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. Let’s go have a cup of tea, and Richard can tell us what he needs to say.”
I watched as he pressed a tender kiss to my mum’s cheek. I wished she had given in to his advances years ago. They were so happy together, but Mum had been so worried about what I would think about her finding a new man in her life. I couldn’t have cared less. I just wanted her to be happy. I never knew my father, as he had walked out on us when I was a baby. I had tried to find him, but all I found was an obituary in a local paper in Devon. He had died around twelve years ago in some freak accident out at sea. It said he had left a wife and children behind, but I didn’t want to find them. I would leave them in ignorance. It was probably the best for all of us. I also never told my mum. She had already been hurt enough by him, so what was the point of causing more grief?
I followed them both into the kitchen, where Arthur started to make us all a cup of tea. I sat down at the table and waited for Arthur to finish and sit down before I contemplated speaking.
How did I start?
“Richard, I’m sure whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. Start at the beginning.”
I smiled over at Arthur. I’d gotten to know him quite well in the past few months. He was like the father I had sorely missed throughout my life.
I took what seemed like the umpteenth deep breath to calm my nerves and started to speak.
“Mum, I’m not really sure how to sugar-coat this. I met someone last night. Someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
My mum’s face lit up at the news. “That’s wonderful. But why would that need sugar-coating?”
I looked at Mum and then at Arthur. I could tell that he already knew what was coming next. Did he, like Jayden and the rest of the guys, already suspect?
“It does because his name is Daniel. I’m gay. I’ve known for quite some time now, but I tried to live the life that everyone expected me to. Tried to cover the feelings I was having. But I don’t want to cover them anymore. Since I moved out, I’ve decided to be who I am and not what society thinks I should be.”
I looked at my mum’s face and couldn’t quite decipher what she was thinking or feeling. Was she disappointed in me, angry, confused, or a combination of all three? I looked down at my hands that were holding the mug of tea that Arthur had made.
“I’m sorry, Mum. I’m sorry that I’m not the son you wanted. That I will never give you a grandchild. I’m also sorry for not telling you sooner.”
I could feel the tears starting to fall down my face. I didn’t want to lose my mum. She was the only family I had. She got up from her seat across from me, pulled up a chair next to me, and sat down. She took my hand in hers.
“Son, why are you sorry for being gay? You are still my son, and I love you. I’ve always suspected that you could be gay. You never seemed happy with any of the girls you went out with. I know you tried to put on a brave face, but a mother can always tell. As for grandchildren, there would be nothing to stop you from adopting or using a surrogate. All I want is for you to be happy, and if Daniel makes you happy, then that is all that matters to me.”
I looked up and saw her smiling at me, but still with tears in her eyes. I glanced over at Arthur, who just nodded his head in agreement.
