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No, I was going to get my life back, and I knew just how I was going to do it.
Chapter Two
Richard
Everyone except me now had someone in their life. Even Kye, who we all thought would never fall in love with a woman, was now engaged and had two children of his own. They were the last of the team except me to be married. I was happy for all of them, especially after hearing the news that everyone had hoped for the past three years: that Ashleigh was expecting a child. She was almost seven months gone now, and everything was going well.
Even my mum had finally agreed that she had found someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and yes, it was Arthur. I couldn’t have been happier for them, especially as it meant she was no longer trying to set me up with his daughter. Now that she had someone there for her, I was able to move out of the house where she worked for Jayden and Sienna and have a place of my own.
I was the next person from the team to move into Jayden’s old apartment. The rent was cheap, it had a parking space, and it also meant that I had a chance to be myself. I didn’t have to constantly hide who I was, and I could have whoever I wanted to come around to the apartment. Not that anyone ever did, but I still had the opportunity to have someone stay over if I found the right guy.
See, that was the problem, I knew I was gay, but I had been hiding it for so long that I had never really experienced what it was like to be with a man. Sure, I had kissed a few and played around a little, but in all other ways, I was still basically a virgin.
Like most guys of my age, I had tried to go along with what society used to tell you was the normal life to lead. Had dated several girls and lost my virginity to a girl. But it had never felt right, and I knew it never would. Only two people in my life knew about the real me—well, knew and didn’t suspect. I was sure the whole team suspected I was gay, but no one ever passed any comments or confronted me about it. In some ways, I wanted them to call me out, but I guessed they’d decided that I would tell them when I was ready.
Telling Tyler though had probably been the best thing I had ever done. Now with Maddie knowing as well, I at least had two friendly faces I could talk to when I was feeling low. Tyler had told me to come out to them all, that no one would care I was gay, but I was still too frightened of the judgemental comments and faces I would receive. I knew that Jayden, Tyler, and Nathan all had a gay friend in the army, so they wouldn’t have cared, but I still valued the friendship I had with the rest of the guys, so much so that it held me back from telling the truth. I had decided, though, that once I found the man I loved and wanted to be together with for the rest of my life I would tell them, along with my mum and Arthur.
They were probably the ones I worried about the most. My mum didn’t know that I was gay. If she had, then she wouldn’t have spent years trying to set me up with Arthur’s daughter, Katie. Both Mum and Arthur had grown up during times when being gay was illegal. Through the times when, if you were caught, you would either be jailed or chemically castrated to stop the urges. I was so glad that we had become more accepting of people’s sexuality and choices; however, there was still some stigma attached within the older generation. I was sure my mum would still love me, but I wasn’t sure whether it would change our relationship for the better or worse. I guessed only time would tell, but I wasn’t about to change who I was just to conform to what my mum wanted. I was a grown man of thirty-one years old, and I was going to live my life the way I wanted.
That was one reason why I had started to frequent the local gay bar a couple of evenings a week. I wasn’t trying to get a hook-up every time I was in there, and so far, I hadn’t met anyone I had any romantic inclinations for. But at least there I could be myself and I didn’t have to worry about what people felt about me. I’d met quite a few guys that I had become friends with, but there was no physical attraction between us. But we could just sit there chatting about life without worrying what the person at the next table would think about us.
I’d also become good friends with Bruno, who worked behind the bar. Now, there was a guy that I could fall for. He was the exact opposite of me, far more like Kye or Jayden in build and attitude. A true alpha male. But with it, completely straight. You could flirt with him, and he would give the banter back, but that was as far as it ever went. However, it did give me hope that the likes of Kye would be able to accept me as gay. I mean, if Bruno could work in a gay bar and treat us like normal human beings, then I guessed so could Kye.
I had gotten out of the office early today and decided I needed to unwind a bit. So, that was why I found myself sitting at the bar of The King’s Head just around the corner from my apartment. It hadn’t escaped my notice at the irony of the name of the bar, especially when a lot of people assumed it was just a normal pub and quite often got the shock of their lives, especially on a party night. But most of the time, fun and laughs were had by all. Things had been quiet lately at the office, especially as now the seven senior partners—yes, the seven of us—had all been made partners in the business and tended to spend most of our days behind an office desk as opposed to out in the field. We did get more involved with prestigious cases, but most of the time we were just advisers or team leaders.
It didn’t bother me, but I could see it was already grating on Kye’s nerves. He was not an office guy, even now that he had Calista and Tomás, who I had to say were both adorable. You could definitely see Kye in his son, and Calista was the spitting image of Abigail. They were his world, and you could see that whenever they were together. I was happy for him, especially after he admitted to us everything he had been through. The day he had sat there and told us about his mental health issues must have been hard for a guy like him. Admitting that he wasn’t the machine we all thought he was, but a man, and a vulnerable one at that. I think all our views of him had changed that day. But we accepted him and agreed to look out for the signs we all recognised after being told. It was obvious in hindsight that he needed help, but none of us had noticed at the time.
I was pulled from my thoughts by Bruno as he spoke to me.
“On your own tonight?”
I smiled and laughed. “Unless I have just pulled and you’re chatting me up, yeah, I’m on my own. When have you ever known me to come in here with a guy?”
I knew there was no chance for me and Bruno, but it was always fun to egg him on every once in a while. He just smiled and shook his head.
“You know I would only have eyes for you if I was inclined that way. The usual?”
“Yes, thank you, Bruno.”
He went and poured me my usual gin and tonic. Yes, I knew it was cliché, but it was my favourite drink, and I wasn’t about to change anytime soon.
We had been chatting for a while, with Bruno just serving the odd few customers that were in. Being the middle of the week, it was quite quiet, probably one reason why I hardly ever met anyone. I didn’t tend to come on the weekend when they had all the entertainment on. I still wasn’t quite brave enough to face lots of people, despite Bruno trying to convince me every time I was in here.
I heard the main door open behind me, but didn’t bother to look around. I never did. I looked up and saw Bruno’s eyebrows raise as I felt a presence close by. A huge smile came onto Bruno’s face when a guy stood next to me and spoke.
“Is this seat taken?”
I looked over, about to reply, when my heart stopped beating.
Before me was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. He was probably around the same height and build as me, with dark brown hair, a short stubble-like beard, a moustache, and the most gorgeous chocolate-brown eyes I had ever seen. I was already completely lost in them as I sat there. He obviously worked in the city; if I was to hazard a guess from the look of the expensive suit he was wearing, he was probably a stockbroker or on the trading floor. I could feel how my heart kept skipping a beat the more I looked at him. I realised that I hadn’t even acknowledged his question.
“Sorry. No, the seat isn’t taken. You’re more than welcome to sit down.”
He took a seat next to me and ordered a drink—gin and tonic of course. I could see Bruno smirking as he made the guy’s drink. If he had caught on that I liked this guy, then surely so would the man in question.
Oh, my God. I had made a complete fool of myself, hadn’t I?
Well, one thing I knew: tonight looked as though it was going to become a whole lot more interesting than any other night I had spent here.
