AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He said the last with a distinctly flat, generic American tone that made me laugh.
I took a swig from the bottle but winced. “It’s so sweet.”
“That’s Irn-Bru for you. Full of sugars, and the fizz should help your stomach. Between that and the water and the shock to your system, you should come right.”
The drink was sugary the way Old Tarty was decorated: garish, grotesque, and should probably be outlawed. Addictive, too—I didn’t love the taste, but I couldn’t stop taking sips from the bottle.
We sat for a few minutes listening to the water lap the rocks, Duncan’s hands moving over my feet.
“It’s not like I’ve never thought about starting my own company,” I said out of nowhere, suddenly ready for the conversation I’d chickened out on earlier. “I did, once.”
“What happened?” His fingers worked lovely little circles on my toes.
“I completely tanked.” Saying the words out loud stung, but freedom came with them, too. I’d tried so hard to move on and pretend that year had never happened, maybe I needed to admit the truth. “I worked for a big, sterile firm out of college where I did a lot of lifeless work for faceless accounts. What you’d call ‘just good enough’—soul crushing, but with steady pay.”
He watched me with those blue, bare-your-soul eyes. Caught between them and his hypnotic foot-rubbing skills, I kept talking. “I’d seen coworkers take the plunge and start their own businesses. I had this dream of marrying my art with the web, creating logos, designs, and sites that were more than just functional. Kind of a one-stop branding shop. And I did it. I quit my job with starry-eyed expectations for my future.”
That thrill of stepping out on my own still burned in my memory, a rush of adrenaline that I’d been certain would carry me to success. “I ampractical, Duncan. You have no idea.”
His expression was like pure sweetness washing over me. “I might have some idea.”
“With this, I followed my heart. I had so much enthusiasm and drive, and I just knew everything would work out. I thought I had it all planned.” I exhaled bitter laughter. “I got a few clients. I created some gorgeous websites, and a few logos I was really proud of. But it wasn’t enough. Enthusiasm only got me so far. Then it was all scrambling and grasping and clinging to hope.”
Hope became desperation, and desperation finally despair.
“I didn’t know how to market myself, I didn’t understand my competition, and I probably undercharged the accounts I had. I scraped by for almost a year, burning through all my savings and then some. I moved back in with my parents. Sold my car for the cash. When it was all over, I hadnothing. So. That was that. No more blind idealism.”
My stomach rolled with the memory of the lowest of my lows. I’d come through it with a more cautious approach to personal finances, a willingness to endure unreasonable amounts of overtime, and an aversion to the cheap ramen noodles I’d lived off of during those long months.
“And then I finally got this job. It’s a really good job at a really good company. Maybe there are parts that could be better, but total failure is worse. I took a leap and landed on my face.”
“Nothing is ever one hundred percent certain.”
“Thanks, Callum MacZen.” I knocked my toes against his fingers and immediately regretted it when he let go of my feet.
“You’ve learned from your mistakes. You know what to do differently next time.”
This man and his confidence. Maybe that should go into the flaw category, too.
“Next time? Are you listening? Sure, I want something more, but not when it comes with a chance of losingeverything. I can’t do that again.”
“Molly, I ruined my marriage. I didn’t take time for myself, let alone for my wife or our daughters. I was so dedicated to my business, I neglected the most valuable thing I had. I was selfish and short-sighted, and my priorities were all wrong. I paid the price, and my family fell apart.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, trailing his fingers along my neck. “Does that mean I should stop trying to find lasting love? Should I give up and become a hermit?”
No!I wanted to shout.Don’t stop trying for love!Not when I sat right in front of him.
“Or,” he said, his fingers lightly working their way over my shoulder and down my arm until they intertwined with mine. “Should I learn from my mistakes and try again?”
This man and his charm had me turned upside down even worse than the drink. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to call B.S. on his enthusiasm or lean right into it.
“Seems a bit of a stretch to compare the two,” I said softly. My failed business didn’t seem nearly so crushing as a failed marriage, no matter how it had felt in the moment.
“Probably. But I hate to see you let one failure stop you from ever trying again.”
Hmm. I saw his point, even if I didn’t necessarily agree with it.
He watched me like I had a spotlight on me. “Did you enjoy the work you did when you were on your own?”
I sucked in a breath, every word of argument crumbling away. “I loved it. All the custom work, the creative freedom, the connection with my clients. Before things fell apart…I was really happy.”
