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EIGHT
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‘OH DARLING’ FREDDIE DREDD
Growing up,I never felt like I’d find much worth living for. No matter how many years I lived, I was convinced I’d never find something or someone who would make me feel anything other than the constant numbness I lived with. My first memory, the earliest one I can recall, is getting an ass beating from my mother while my father watched. I don’t remember the reason I was forced to read the bible out loud, line for line, while my mother whipped my back, but the memory has yet to fade.
It was from that moment that I began to grow numb to normal human emotions. Love, joy, peace, happiness…those were all foreign to me.
Until Val, that is. I wouldn’t say I found happiness the moment I met her; it was more like intrigue. But that intrigue grew quickly. It morphed before I was even ready for it—obsession.
It was new to me. I had felt something similar to it once before, when I kissed one of the boys in my class, but unlike that moment, my obsession for Val only grew until there wasn’t enough time in the day to spend with her. I began sleeping over—her mother allowing it because by then, I was her gay best friend; I wasn't a threat to her daughter.
Little did she know, I was spending my nights lying next to Val imagining all the ways I could bury my cock inside her until I was so hard that I had to jerk myself into her panties. All while her daughter slept soundly beside me.
I always felt bad for it though, felt like a filthy fuck dog for my twisted deeds, hated myself for lying straight to Valentina’s face, but I never enough to stop.
It was all new feelings for me. Painful need, sick obsession, shameful actions…and now I feel hate unlike anything I’ve ever felt. A new desperate need to keep my obsession with me, and I’ll be fucking damned if I let Val leave my side.
I stare at her whimpering mother, seeing her in a new light and feeling nothing but murderous hate. Sitting on the stairs, I had to force myself not to rage as I listened to Valentina tell her daughter the truth about not only her father but also herself. I had to breathe through my anger as I listened to her say words that I know lashed at Val’s heart. I sat and listened until control was no longer working.
I step forward, my jaw aching from clenching it painfully hard, “Because from what I can tell, your daughter is the sacrifice. She’s the lamb and you’re practically leading to the slaughter yourself. Instead of using the seventeen years you had to run, to fight back, to doanythingto protect your daughter…you spent it trying to love a bastard back from his evil ways. You spent seventeen fucking years feebly trying to bring a dead heart back to life.”
She looks at Val before looking back to me, her eyes wide as I reach the bottom step.
“Noah–” she says but I’m done hearing her bullshit.
I step closer to her, anger radiating from me in each footfall. I stop when Val steps between us, her small hand on my chest feels like an anchor I desperately need but my anger won’t be quelled so easily.
“Am I wrong?!” I snap over Val’s head, making her mother jump as though she fears me.
Good. She hurt my Val, so she better fucking scared, even if I won’t lay a hand on her. But that’s only for Val’s sake.
“Noah, please–” her mother pleads, but I yell above her.
“For seventeen years you loved the wrong person!”
“Shut the fuck up, Noah!” Val screams, pushing me back as hard as she can, but I only move a foot, my eyes still locked on the silent bitch.
I’m right. Undeniably right and I know Val doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t want to face the fact that her mother allowed this shit to happen. Allowed Val’s sperm donor to abuse her daughter, to treat her only child like trash just to save her own fucking skin.
Val stares at her mother, her eyes watering at the betrayal. She practically pleads with her eyes, her wobbling lip, her shaking hands…begging her to deny it and say she loved Val more.
But she doesn’t. She won’t even look at her.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” Val whispers brokenly.
A pain filled silence is her reply.
I pull Val into my arms, her shoulders shaking as she cries into my chest. I stare at her mother, watching her as her tears fall from her eyes, and I know without a doubt she loves Val but not enough to fight for her.
I reach down and scoop Val up into my arms, “I’m taking her upstairs, but I’ll be back. Don’t fucking leave. This conversation isn’t over.”
Valentina doesn’t reply to me, she doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m there. I shake my head and turn toward the stairs.
Once I have Val in her bedroom, I put her on the bed and move strands of her hair out of her face, “I’m sorry,mi vida. I’m sorry I lost my temper down there.”
Val’s hazel eyes just stare into mine and in them I see a thousand questions, how could she do this? How could any mother love an abuser more than her own child? What did I do wrong?
