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My eyes are on the city lights outside of my window as I answer him.
“A shit show of epic proportions, I’m sure. But Noah,” I turn to him, “if we’re going to get through this intact, we need to be seen as a united front.”
He looks at me quizzically, his brows furrowed and his penny eyes shining with confusion, “I thought we already were. That was just bullshitting, which isn’t new for us.”
He’s right of course, we’ve had our heated arguments many times, but whether he’ll admit it or not, that was one we’ve never had before. We both stepped out of line, pushing boundaries we don’t have rights to push with one another, and he knows it.
“You know what I mean, Noh. I love you and I can’t lose you, especially not now when you’re the only person in this new world that I can trust. Another fight like that could cause a rift that neither of us can come back from.”
He opens his mouth, his face showing regret, but I stop him.
“No. Don’t apologize because I’m not going to either, we just need to promise we won’t let each other go. Promise me, Noah.”
He takes my hand in his, forcing a smile that doesn’t even begin to touch his eyes, “Yeah, chica, I promise.”
I kiss his cheek before laying my head on his shoulder, sleepiness pulling on my eyelids as the jet speeds through the night sky.
The last thing I see is Rey’s reflection in his laptop screen, his hard eyes locked on mine until they’re all I see in my dreams.
SEVENTEEN
* * *
‘ALL ALONE’ FREDDIE DREDD
I’m usedto being looked at as only what I can offer, be it status, money, power…anythingbutme. For a long time, I felt disheartened by it. Even in elementary school, if a kid hurt me during a rough game of football on the field, or accidentally did something totally innocent like trip and spill juice on my clothing, I’d be begged for forgiveness. Followed around until I assured them that no punishment would befall them or their families.
It’s sad to say, but as much as it bothered me to receive such attention, I would purposely go out of my waynotto assure them. It wasn’t because I was craving the fear or salivating over the power my name held, quite the opposite actually.
I did it because that was the only time someone would even look my way, even speak to me and at that tender age, I was hungry for it.
Before I met my best friend, Mateo, most of my life was spent being avoided like the plague. They say it’s lonely at the top…how fucking right they are.
Untouchable, unlovable, un-fucking-friendable.
Of course, as I grew older and the raging hormones of teenagehood invaded my classmates, I was never found alone. But their reasons for becoming my friends were as cruel now as they were then, only now…I don’t give a fuck. I don’t need to have a crowd around me in order to feel secure as I once did, but each and every bitch around me acting like they want to fucking know me are nothing but phony. It doesn’t matter though, they’re all my dogs now. My mules. They want what I have, but I want their servitude, and now I have it.
It’s fucking poetic.
But Valeria is different. She’s as cruel as the blood in her veins, as sweet as her smiles suggest and yet, she’s as vile as her father. She’s a walking contradiction. She piques my interest unlike anyone before her. The women in my world are prepped to be trophy wives, nothing more, nothing less. Picturing Valeria as one is ridiculously comical. There is no way in hell that little doll who holds a knife behind her back could ever be the obedient wife.
She’d be a husband killer, a black widow, leaving a trail of lifeless men behind her, men who foolishly thought they could bend her to their will.
It makes me hard just thinking of how well she'd play the part until she plunges that knife into his heart before the ink on the marriage license is even dried. It makes me want to tame her myself, break her in and soil her will. To pluck the knife from her hands and hold it to her slender throat as I fuck her into submission.
My sweetly vile stepsister, writhing beneath me like the hungry whore she is…but I’d make damn sure she’ll only hunger for me, for my cock, for my bruising touch, and she’d beg for more.
I unbuckle my seatbelt and look over to where Valeria is sleeping in her seat, unaware that we’ve landed in Coventry. Noah, her trusted and very faithful golden retriever, makes eye contact with me. He could be a problem, but I have no doubt in my ability to flip him.
In a low tone so I don’t wake Valeria, I jerk my chin to him, “You and I should talk alone again. There are things you’ll need to know if you’re going to help Valeria get through Coventry.”
I don’t wait for him to reply, I just turn and tuck my laptop under my arm before heading toward the exit. Joyce gives me a lustful look as I move past her and down the stairs of the jet, but I ignore her just as I did in the bedroom earlier.
I didn’t fuck her—this time. You see, Joyce is the kind of girl that gets off on being watched. That’s her thing. She gets pleasure from an actual fucking of course, but there’s nothing like being watched as she fucks herself. That’s fine with me. I have no use for her pussy, absolutely no attraction to her nor the annoyingly high-pitched porn moans she produces. It’s mind numbing and is nothing but a complete turn off. It's like being so close to that free fall into sexual oblivion, but then your partner suddenly throws a change up and you’re pushed back down that hill, working once again to find your blissful rhythm.
There’s nothing more annoying than a shitty sexual partner, hence the reason being audience to Joyce is much more preferable for me.
I tuned her out as I stared at her, seeing nothing except a little petty victory over Valeria.
