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“I want to be inside your darkest everything”
? Frida Kahlo, The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait
ONE
VICENTA
“Mi Casi Algo” by Javiielo & Nekxum
Staring at the trophy in my hand, I run the tips of my fingers over the engraved words.
First Place State Champion.
I have coveted this trophy for so long but now that I have it, it feels anticlimactic.
“Congratulations, Vicenta!” my best friend, Lydia, shouts excitedly as she pushes through the crowd toward me. When she reaches me, she throws her arms around me and I have to catch my footing before we both fall like fools.
I just won the state diving championship for the women’s division in freestyle diving, gaining the gold medal with a whopping twenty points. It wasn’t luck that got me here; it was years and years of practice and failed attempts.
Skill brought me to this moment, and yet I feel nothing. There’s no excitement, no satisfaction or pride at having won.Nothing.
“Thanks, girl,” I tell my friend, squeezing her tightly before letting go.
I do my best to make my smile look as genuine as possible, but Lydia has never been fooled by my efforts—not like my parents are. She opens her mouth to call me out on it, but slams her lips shut when my mother, father and brother step up behind me.
“You did so well, Vicenta,” my father says, a beaming smile stretched across his handsome face. “I’m so proud of you.”
He hugs me before passing me off to my misty-eyed mom. “I’ll never get over my fear of seeing you jump from so high.”
I laugh with my father like I’m supposed to before kissing her cheek. “It’s over now,” I reply, shaking the trophy in my hand. “I got what I wanted, so now it’s time for something new.”
My father makes a face that tells me he doesn’t approve of what I’m referring to.
GP racing.Now that’s real excitement. There’s something about fast cars and bikes that makes my stomach flutter.
“You need to give up this childish wish, Vicenta,” he tells me sternly, making my happy façade drop in an instant. “You just won the state championship; now you can go pro. There were scouts in the stands and a few of them wanted to speak with you.”
“It’s not child—”
“Let’s not discuss this now,” my brother interrupts, throwing his heavy arm over my shoulder. “Today is a good day. Let’s not ruin it with your stubbornness.”
Though I could have taken his words as offensive, I know they were directed at our father. He and Lydia are the only people who have ever rooted for me and my dreams to be a professional motorcycle racer.
Vicente kisses the side of my head, whispering his congratulations. He’s the only sibling I have and though he’s just a year younger than me, he acts and looks much older.
“We’ll meet you guys at the restaurant,” he tells our parents, before turning and leading me through the crowd. Lydia rushes to Vicente’s other side, hooking her arm through his while blowing out a breath.
“God, your dad scares the shit out of me sometimes. I swear, ever since he started working for that secret billionaire, he’s turned into a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”
She’s not wrong.
Me and Vicente glance at one another before he answers for the both of us. “He’s an asshole sometimes but it’s because he’s always stressed out…”
I tune out of the conversation, tired of hearing my smart-as-fuck brother defend our father. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad, but sometimes, I wish I had been born to someone else. Victor Guzmán is a goal-oriented man, but it’s onlyhisgoals that matter. He wants my brother to follow in his footsteps and become a financial manager, keeping accounts and managing finances for multi billionaires and their companies, but Vicente couldn’t care less for such a well paid, yetboring,career.
Professional boxing or MMA is his goal. We both share an addiction to excitement and adrenaline. I couldn’t tell you where he and I got those genes from.
Of course, Victor will never hear of it. The minute either of us bring up our true desires, we’re shot down quicker than a cowboy in an old western duel.
