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I knew what she wanted. What we both wanted.
I had a second to think about how bad of an idea this was, but her hands were flat against my chest as her eyelashes fluttered. I leaned in slowly. I gave her plenty of time to pull away if she wanted to, but that wasn’t what happened. Instead, she met me halfway, our lips meeting in a soft, chase kiss.
For a second.
Then everything exploded. My hands went to her waist, pulling her closer as her hands tangled into my hair. Our kiss deepened as we both tried to get closer to the other. I could feel her pulse racing under my fingertips, and my own heart was pounding in my chest.
I pulled away from her, practically gasping for breath. “I’m sorry, Sof,” I said. “I can’t...I can’t do this to them. I can’t do this to Teo, if he found out I think he would kill me. If he’s feeling nice about things.”
Sofia pulled away from me for a second. “He didn’t tell you?”
“He didn’t tell me what?” I asked.
For a second, it looked like she wasn’t going to say. Blood rushed to her cheeks and she looked away from me, curly hair cascading around her shoulders. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You have to now,” I said. “You can’t keep me hanging like that.”
She turned to look at me. “Fine,” she said. “He said that while I was trapped with the Blades, his men would keep me entertained.”
I held back the urge to wince, raising my brows instead.
“Entertained?” I repeated, my voice laced with disbelief. “What exactly do you mean by that?”
Sofia’s cheeks flushed even darker. “You know what I mean, Jace. He said that if I needed... release, his men would take care of me.”
“Don’t you think he should’ve spoken to us about it first?” I asked. “I mean, we are his men, right?”
“You are,” she said. “And you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
Sofia didn’t understand. How could she? It wasn’t about want. When it came to want, there was nothing I wanted more than to be with her. But I didn’t want to be with her as entertainment.
I knew I was never going to take Teo’s place in her heart, and I shouldn’t. But I didn’t want to be used as a dildo by the woman I was falling in love with.
Even if that sounded really, really good.
I chuckled. “That’s not what I’m worried about, Sof. I just don’t want to cross Teo. And I believe you, but unless this is coming from his own mouth, I’m not going to do anything that could annoy him.”
Sofia sighed. “I understand, Jace,” she said. “But sometimes I just need something to distract me. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, my head is spinning.”
“I know,” I said, pulling her into a tight embrace. “And we’ll do everything in our power to keep you safe and sane.”
She hugged me back, her face buried in my chest. “Thank you,” she whispered.
It was moments like this that made everything worth it. The danger, the uncertainty, all of it faded away when I held her in my arms like this.
That was a problem.
I was entertainment. I wasn’t supposed to have feelings for her.
She pulled away from me, her brow furrowing. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That was completely out of line.”
“It’s okay,” I reassured her. “I understand what you’re going through. And I don’t blame you for wanting some kind of distraction.”
If I wasn’t so afraid of Teo--and if I didn’t know exactly what he was like when he lost his temper--then I would’ve given in to my desire for her right then and there. It felt like the air around us cracked with electricity as she fluttered her eyelashes at me, my stomach dropping every time I saw her pretty face.
I had a feeling that if I didn’t step up, one of the other guys would. “Can I ask you something, Sof?” I asked her.
She pulled away from me, nodding. “Sure. What’s up?”
