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“Son, I didn’t come here with the intention of this happening. But maybe it’s best it did. She was going to find out one way or the other.”
“Oh, like you care.”
“Cal. I don’t have much time. I came here to apologize.” He grabs me by my elbow.
“Are you fucking crazy?” I shake him from me. “You just blew up my whole fucking life. Sterling is never going to forgive me.” I grip the door frame with one hand and fist my hair with the other.
This is not happening.
How can Sterling bethat girl? I’ve allowed myself to finally feel, I let this girl infiltrate my heart, my life. And this one stupid fucking mistake is going to ruin it.
“Do you love her?” My dad asks in a monotone voice.
“What?”
He chokes out a couple of coughs before speaking again, “Do you love her? Really?”
“Why the fuck does that matter to you?” This feels unreal. I have to go after her.
I turn to grab my car keys and my phone.
“I’m sorry, son. I’m sorry that I turned you into this monster of a man who doesn’t feel emotions. I should have led you down a different path.” I choke out a laugh as he speaks. The words seem so insincere coming from his mouth.
“Fuck you. Lucky for everyone I wasn’t too far gone, and Sterling was able to crack the broken surface you created. She uncovered the real me, the one you tried to bury.”
“It was for your own good,” he states. “Or at least I thought. I just didn’t want you to get hurt like I did.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“Your mom-” He tries to speak but the cough stops him from continuing.
Then I remember the family meeting, the news my mom broke. The reason why my dad is a pain in the ass. Because he was hurt by a woman he loved.
“Just because you got hurt, doesn’t mean you had to scare your only son into living an emotionless life,” I respond, looking down at my phone as I type out a text to Sterling.
A thud to the ground radiates to my feet like an earthquake and my eyes dart up. My dad is on the ground, hand thrown to his chest as he cries out in pain, coughing and trying to breathe. I panic and move toward him, not knowing what to do.
I swing my office door open, looking for someone, anyone, to help.
“I need someone to call an ambulance. Now!” I shout down the hall. I reach down and stare at my dad, realizing the severity of his condition.
“Fuck, dad. Hang on. Help is on its way.”
thirty-two
Sterling
Tearsstainmycheeksas I weave down the winding road toward my old apartment. I use one hand to wipe my eyes, the other hand gripped anxiously on the steering wheel. Halfway through my drive, I realize this is the same road that started it all.
The car crash.
I’d never noticed it before because I was always sitting in the backseat of Gerald’s car, probably too busy overthinking. But being the one in the driver’s seat, the memories smack me in the face so hard, I have to pull over.
When I step out of the car to look around, it’s like a time warp. I can perfectly envision his car coming around the corner at an ungodly speed as his headlights blurred my vision. I remember myself trying to start my car, frantically attempting to prevent the inevitable. Then, black.
A tight lump forms in my throat as I picture it all playing out in my head.
I picture Callan getting out of his car, assessing the damage. Then getting on the phone, presumably calling his dad. Then within minutes, he’s gone.
