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“Good, you can take them off when we get in the car.” He growls, nibbling my neck lightly. “There are too many eyes watching us here, or I wouldn’t have denied you the satisfaction.”
“I love an audience,” I purr. “next time, don’t be such a tease.”
“Are you trying to tempt me?” He asks, raising a brow, just as the food arrives.
I sit silently blushing, replaying the dirty words over and over in my head as Christian makes light small talk with the server. He refills both of our glasses before leaving us to continue our meal.
While we are hurrying to eat, because we both are focused on one thing and one thing only right now, his phone rings. It’s Harvey. He picks it up immediately. Something has happened. It must be important. Christian looks at me, and his jaw twitches. The look on his face says it’s not a good call.
Chapter seventeen
Myjawissetas I walk with a purpose toward the waiting cars. I open the door on the passenger side for Quinn. “Get in,” I bark.
I’m fucking furious. How could she be this reckless? It’s getting out of control. I work my ass off protecting her, keeping her safe, worrying myself sick twenty-four seven, and agonizing over what I need to do differently. She’s lying and sneaking around behind my back. Uncaring about the amount of effort that goes into everything I am trying to do for us. To keep us safe. I already failed her once before. A regret I have to live with every day for the rest of my life. I can’t do this to her again. Failure is never an option, not anymore. I’ve come too far to fail. I’ve fallen until it broke me into millions of irreparable pieces. She put me back together, accepted me at all of my worst points in life, and yet I find myself wondering how worth it this all still is. Maybe the time has come to settle old debts. I’m not the only one who needs to atone for his sins. She might never forgive me, but then again, is that worse than losing my trust?
I sigh, closing the door behind her and walk to the driver’s side. I rap on the window and the man roles it down to speak to me.
“Out,” I say, not giving him that opportunity to ask questions. I pull the door open and he steps out.
“Is everything okay, boss? I thought you were planning not to drive tonight.” He asks, concerned.
“Everything is fine, but the plans have changed. I will drive us home. You can slide in with the others in the second car. Instruct the driver to follow me and to be extra vigilant. Any signs of something out of the ordinary radio me immediately on the car radios private line. Do you understand?” I snap, my tone rougher than I intended for it to be.
“I understand, boss,” he replies, exiting the car and walking to the driver’s side of the one behind us. He raps on the window explaining what the plan is, then climbs into the back seat.
I climb into the car and turn to Quinn. She looks confused and terrified. I run my hands through my hair before pulling out of the valet and driving us home. It’s silent. I know she doesn’t dare speak first, so I use the time to think long and hard about what I want to say and how I need to say it to get my point across. Of course, I come up empty-handed, opting instead to just be blunt.
“Why, mon bijou?” I growl, my voice hinging barely above a whisper.
She says nothing for a moment. “Christian, why what?” She asks, clearly not sure if I have found her out or not.
“Don’t play games, Quinn. Why did you lie to me? Why did you betray my trust? What were you thinking, sneaking out with Selena?” I fire off my questions, not giving her time to reply.
“Worst of all, love, if there were that many holes in my perimeter of protection, why on earth did you endanger yourself by keeping them such secrets? Think, Quinn, if you found a way out, that means it can be just as easy for someone else to sneak in.” My voice is ragged and strained. Admitting that I once again failed to protect her is harder than I realized.
“You keep setting me up to fail you. You keep setting up everyone who cares about you for failure. The men are terrified of what is going to happen to them. Allowing you to sneak out under their noses undetected. They expect heads to roll, and they will. How does that make you feel? Do you even care that good men are going to be punished for your reckless decisions? Do you even think about anyone but yourself these days, Quinn?” I snarl in frustration.
“Say something, anything, Quinn.” I snap.
She looks at me with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry Christian. I don’t enjoy sneaking around your back, but you don’t give me the freedom to come and go as I please. It’s downright smothering. We’ve been over this a million times before now. I am not weak. I am strong, which I have proven repeatedly. Yet you still treat me like a dainty little butterfly, something so easy to crush. I am a fierce lioness, you’ve said so yourself, and it’s time you actually start treating me like one, instead of just saying it. Talk is cheap, Christian.”
I stare at her in disbelief, unsure how to react. Part of me is seething mad. She didn’t answer any of the questions I demanded. The other part of me is fucking turned on, hot and bothered, longing to fuck her into a submission for daring to stand against me like this when I only want to keep her safe. I swallow hard, weighing my options, turning a response over and over in my head.
“I respect you, Quinn. Tu es mon amour de ma vie. Youare the love of my life.”I sigh, strumming the steering wheel. We still have an hour long drive and I don’t want to fight the entire time, but I want answers.
“Look, this isn’t the kind of night I wanted to have with you. I’ve been trying to make it up to you. I know I have been absent, and distant, distracted by my work. Your father’s orders are keeping me busy. He expects success. You know more than anyone in Arkham, failure is not an option. Do you want me to fail?” I ask.
“Yes,” is all she answers in reply.
I want to slam on my breaks in anger, to bring this car to a stop, rip her from her seat and demand answers, but I don’t want to alarm the men. I’m sure I already have them stressed with the sudden change in plans. Instead, I speed up, taking the curves and corners of the mountain at lightning speed. The tires squeal as we coast around, descending from our spot above the city. In the darkness, there is no light, only more darkness, waiting to swallow its prey alive.
Chapter eighteen
We’vereachedtherollinghills at the bottom of the mountain. My foot relaxes, easing off the gas, allowing the driver behind me a break. He did well; I note to myself. I asked Clay to send talented drivers, and he came through. I look at Quinn. She’s staring out the passenger window, arms and legs crossed. I really fucked this up by overreacting, like always. Every cell in my body longs to reach for her, to smooth things over. The fear of failure holds me back. I don’t know how to make this any better.
“Q, you know I will do anything for you. I swore to you I would always keep you safe. I looked into your dying mother’s eyes and swore to protect you always. You are making it increasingly difficult to remain a man of my word.”
I pause, allowing the silence to surround us. When it threatens to swallow us with no remorse, I find more words to speak and fill the void. “je t’adore mon petit lionne.”
