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“I…” he starts and then stops.
Quiet descends over us, and for another ten minutes we ride in silence. Suddenly, he pulls over and cuts off the truck. Around us are miles of flat land. There are no houses to be seen or streetlights to shine down on us. We’re alone. Completely and utterly alone.
“I’m sorry you were hurt,” Grant spits out harshly, as if it’s tough to say. He pulls his gaze away from the world around us to look at me. “I made a mistake leaving you like that.”
His eyes bore into mine. He’s trying to convey something, but whatever it is, it’s lost in translation.
“Yeah, you did.”
“I-I’ve made a lot of mistakes.” He grimaces, as if it pains him to admit that he’s not perfect. “Bri, I’m good at calculations, making hard decisions, and evaluating risks and rewards. But what I’m best at is seeing the bigger picture,” he says after a moment. “I’m rarely rash. Excitement comes in the form of planning for me.”
His fingers rake through his hair as he turns back to the road. When he’s done, his hand falls back into his lap with a flop.
“When Jason mentioned he had a stupid little crush on you, I told him to leave you alone. The future we had planned didn’t include a scandalous affair with a staff member at the school we’re attending. But Jason was insistent. He rarely ever puts his foot down. So when he did this time, I caved. Before I gave the ok, however, I had to make sure you were worth the slight distraction. Days turned into months watching you.”
I shiver. They watched me for so long and I never knew. It feels strange knowing that I’d been the center of their fixation. Strange… And, if I’m being honest with myself, a tiny bit flattering.
“We never intended to hold anything over you, not really, but we needed something to bridge the gap between us when it was clear you weren’t going to make a move. So, we did some digging. Your past was unnoteworthy until a few years ago when your career as an agent in Cohawk was just about to take off, only for you to leave abruptly. My curiosity piqued. No one just ups and quits their job when they are doingwell. It wasn’t until wefinallystumbled upon the information in your email that I realized we were dealing with someone cunning, vicious, and downright dangerous.”
Grant’s dark chuckle is surprising and a little disturbing.
“That’s when I knew you were the perfect target to let off a bit of steam with because you know who else is the same way?”
I can guess. “Your dad.”
Grant nods slowly. “The three of us aren’t good people by any means, but my father is worse, and you had proven, with that email, that you were just as dastardly as him. Why not have some fun taking you down a peg? The thought of the instant gratification from tormenting you, since I couldn’t do it to my father, was enough to give the green light.”
And the others followed his lead. I can see it now. Play with the bitch who ruins other people’s lives. They got a toy, I got tormented. Swallowing down my resentment, I try to see it from his point of view. Learning about what I did to Jackie and then thriving in her job? Yeah, I could see how I’d look like a bad guy in their eyes. And, as much as I hate to admit it, ultimately, Iama terrible person. I probably deserved to have karma come at me. I just didn’t expect it to come at methishard.
“I figured Jason would tire of you once he had a bite of the forbidden fruit and you’d wilt quickly, bringing the game to an end.” Grant continues after a moment. “But things became exciting in a whole new way. You didn’t back down and rather than growing bored, Jason grew more enamored. You were a challenge, Bri. A challenge Ineededto beat. To break. The excitement though has made me impulsive, rash, and off-kilter. And damn, does that scare me. I’ve planned our lives out to the T, Bri.Down to every fucking detail, and you weren’t in any of them!”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. I sit there, watching him. I’ve never seen him struggle this hard over anything during our time together. After a few minutes, Grant’s hand drops away, but he doesn’t look at me.
“The morning you were attacked, I left you because I realized our game had changed, and I wasn’t ready to accept the reality of the situation that I’d found myself in. I thought I was, but it didn’t hit me until our conversation that I was in over my head. You spoke to me as if you actually saw me,heardmy plight and understood. Other than Trip and Jay, no one knows me, and I like it that way. Yet you had to go and open your mouth…” He shakes his head. “Anyway, I got uncomfortable and left before I could say or do something stupid.”
I bristle as I lean toward my window to put more space between us.
“So, it’smyfault that you ran away? It was just a conversation, Grant! I was only trying to help. That’s what decent people do! But you left me, and I was nearly ra—” My throat closes up so quickly that I choke. I skip past that word and continue. “—and murdered!”
To my surprise, Grant chuckles. “You think you’re a decent person?”
“Yes!”
“I don’t know if decent is the right word for you,” Grant adds, ignoring me. He finally looks over at me. “I think your desire towantto be decent keeps you from falling too far over into the dark side, Bri. But make no mistake, you’re as twisted and messed up as I am. Jay and Trip too.”
I open my mouth to object but then Grant smiles. It’s more of sneer, and his eyes, dark in the cab, catch the light off the console which causes them to flash.
“I think that’s what I love most about you, dollface. You look so sweet and unsuspecting but, in reality, you have a bite more venomous than any snake in the state of Texas.”
Did he just say love—
Grant laughs. It’s loud, menacing, and twists into hysteria. It’s so unlike him that all I can do is stare. He laughs until tears stream down his face, and even then, he doesn’t stop. His hands drop to his stomach. Finally, after a few minutes, the laughter fades away. He stares out into the darkness with a strange expression clinging to his face.
“Maybe that’s why we need you. To remind us that, no matter what, we need to be decent and not turn into the man we hate so much,” he mutters.
“You need me?” I whisper, shocked at yet another revelation.
“You can’t tell?” He raises a brow and gives me a pointed look before sighing. “Let’s get you home.”
