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“No. My Tutu, that’s my dad’s grandmother, told me that. She said I would have to grow up quick but strong to take care of Ma and Theo because Ma won’t be able to do it by herself.”
Joel bit down on his tongue. He had a response for Josiah’s “Tutu” that he’d keep to himself for now, but that was too much pressure to place on a young boy. Eight-year-olds were supposed to care about school, games, and friends, not taking their deceased father’s place in the household. That would never be Josiah’s responsibility, and if Ayesha didn’t expect it, then “Tutu” was out of place to suggest it.
“Why’d you ask me if I knew what you, my dad, and my uncles do?” Josiah asked.
Joel momentarily set aside his discontent. “Because, a lot of times, when you work in teams and you’re on that team for a long time, you become more than teammates. You develop a lifelong bond. Just like they’d never want to lose you, Theo, or your mom, they didn’t want to lose your dad. But it happened, and losing someone you love, as you know, hurts like hell.”
Josiah nodded and looked down at his legs, nibbling on his bottom lip.
“But guess what, Josiah? Sometimes, talking about the people we miss doesn’t make things worse. It makes things better. You get to share the stories that made you laugh, the things that make you smile. So, don’t worry that you’ll make your uncles or your mom cry. Even if they do, it’ll be happy tears. You might even remember something they didn’t, and they’ll get that memory back because of you.”
Josiah remained silent.
He reached over, ruffled his hair, and pulled him in for a quick side hug. With as much as he loved his own father, he could only imagine what Josiah was going through. Although his parents were still relatively young, these days, he thought more and more about their mortality.
One day, they would no longer be around, and it seemed impossible, somehow. Right now, he could send a text to his father and receive one back in roughly twenty-four hours to forty-eight hours—Archie Lattimore was a crappy texter.
Why couldn’t that last forever? What was the harm in having that last forever?
“Joel, I have to tell you something.”
He gave Josiah his full attention. “What’s up?”
“I don’t want anything to happen to my uncles.” Josiah looked down, fiddling with his fingers. “And I don’t want anything to happen to you, either. I like when you come to Maui and stay in the guest house and spend time with me, Theo, and Ma. My uncles used to, but I know they can’t as much because they have babies and stuff.”
“So you miss them.”
“Yeah. It’s lonely sometimes. And I don’t mean it in a bad way, like I don’t love Theo and Ma. I mean, it gets lonely for all of us. Well, me and Ma. I don’t think Theo understands just yet.”
“I’ll be here as often as I can,” Joel reassured him, flowing over with pride, gratitude, and the general feeling of being cared for.
Josiah raised his head. “So you won’t leave? I heard you and Ma talking one time, and Aunt Syd doesn’t want you to be around us anymore?”
“Oh, no. That’s not it. That’s not it at all.”
“You told Ma that she wants you not to go out on assignments with my uncles anymore.”
He gently gripped Josiah’s shoulder. “That’s not it. Sydney, she gets scared sometimes. Scared I won’t come back.”
“Is she mad at you?”
“No, she’s not mad at me.”
“If everybody goes, everybody comes back. I know it sounds stupid because of what happened to my dad, but—”
“Josiah, it doesn’t sound stupid at all. In fact, it sounds smart. Genius.”
Tears splashed onto his cheeks. “I just figured that, because of what happened with my dad, everybody will protect everybody else better because they know what bad things can happen now, but you have to do it together. I don’t want anything to happen to my uncles, Joel, and I really, really don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
He pulled Josiah in for another, longer hug.
Maybe Sydney had a point. If something happened to him, he was the only one who wouldn’t have to weather its effects; it was the people left behind who suffered. Sydney simply didn’t want to be subjected to that.
“Josiah, I promise that everything I do, from here on out, will be to make sure I come back to you, Theo, and your mom.”
“Can I have one more promise?” Josiah asked.
“Of course. Anything.”
