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“I know, I know.” He shifted in his seat, his skin coloring even deeper. “Okay, do you remember the day the café in our office complex had that terrible zucchini?”
She couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “The oily one?”
“Yes. It was one of the times you worked through lunch, and I wanted to make sure you ate, so I didn’t realize what it looked like when I tossed it into the container.”
The smile grew. “It was fine, Adrían.”
“It was bad,Ayesha.”He grinned. “When I opened that container and saw that oil all over your yellow rice and beans, I was so embarrassed. It was so much, I could have scooped it up, bottled it, and sold it at a market.”
“Your whole face turned red. Even your ears.” She reached up and gently grabbed the tip of his left ear and prayedJoel wasn’t somewhere watching. Just because she wasn’t in love with this man didn’t mean she hated him, but to Joel, anything other than her hating Adrían’s guts was an admission of longing.
He wouldn’t lose her, yet he worried that he would. To her, his security in their relationship mattered. If she was allowed to be afraid he’d die because of her past, he was allowed to have a similar fear because of his.
“I loved laughing with you that day,” he said. “It was like we’d known each other longer than we did. It was the first time I noticed that the sound of you laughing makes me feel…high, almost. Then I started to notice how much I love looking into your eyes, and I thought about you thesecondmy eyes opened every morning. That first time I kissed you, I knew I would never return to being the man I was before.”
He seemed closer.
She’d been watching him the entire time, and she didn’t see him move, but he seemed closer. And while she knew that she needed to move away, she didn’t.
It wasn’t that she couldn’t.
She simply didn’t.
“Then, we made love.” Amusement blended with rising desire in his eyes. “So, to answer your question—I love you, querida,and because I love you, I’ll never let any harm come to you or the boys. If it means your happiness, I won’t let any harm come to your new man either. Anyone who has a chance to meet you, even once, deserves to have you in their life.”
She broke what she hadn’t realized was a stare they’d held for far too long. Joel had accused her of having stronger feelings for Adrían than she’d said or even believed, but that wasn’t true.
It couldn’t be.
Adrían entered her life at a time when she didn’t know whether she was coming or going. During the day, she’d plastered on a brave face for the boys, but at night, she’d cried until her head hurt. She’d cried wrapped in Curtis’ shirts and with the ties he sometimes wore in his hair around her wrist.
When Adrían came along, she stopped crying.
For a little while.
But when they decided to end things, did it hurt? Did she think about him afterward? Stare down the hall where his office had been, hoping to see him one last time?
No.
No.
She’d only been a widow for a little over a year when they met, and she loved Curtis with every single bone in her body. Having feelings for Adrían so soon after her husband waskilledwas the ultimate betrayal.
However, there was something, some feeling or emotionshe’d overlooked when it came to Adrían, and the fact that it was trying to rise from the depths with him sitting across from her made her finally add space between them.
“You lost your mother when you were young,” she said. “I understand why you’d look out for the boys the way you did, so thank you.”
“I won’t stop protecting you.”
“I have someone who—”
“Ayesha, I don’t care.”
“You’re going to have to. For us both, you’re going to need to move on.”
He frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“I think…Adrían, I want you to be happy, but I can’t be the one who makes you happy.”
