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She stretched, the ocean breezes whipping her braids around her head and her maxi-dress cover-up tickling her ankles. When she sensed someone walking up behind her, she quickly swiped at her eyes and forced a smile.
The last thing she needed was for Joel to find out there was more on her plate than Theo’s night terrors. His reaction to Theo’s daycare teacher’s insinuations was more than enough proof there were certain things she needed to keep to herself in order to protect the general public.
His presence dwarfed her from behind. “You didn’t call me.”
“You were with the guys,” she said.
“Which means?”
“That this is a vacation for you too.”
He moved, situating himself beside her. “Ayesha, Theo might not know what I do, but he knows it’s about keeping people safe. That seems to give him some peace. It might have been easier if you let me help you.”
If she let him, he would put everything on his shoulders, and she knew the issue with Central having a target on their backs loomed over him.
“What about when we go home?” she asked. “What if he gets too used to you tucking him in, and we go home? Where will you be?”
“Right next to you, like always.”
“Joel…” She pressed her palm against her stomach. “Don’t say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“I might fall in love.”
“Can’t have that.” The side of his mouth tugged. “Ayesha, are you worried about you, Theo, and Josiah getting comfortable with me doing something, and then I can’t do it any longer? Are you afraid something might happen to me?”
It wasn’t fear.
It was sheer terror.
Something happening to Joel would be like reliving Curtis’ death magnified. She’d dared to love again, so if she lost him, it was possible not even the guys would be able to guide her back to sanity.
“Joel, it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship we have. If I lose you, I lose part of myself.”
“Sure you’re not already in love with me?” he asked. “That sounded very ‘in love’ with me.”
“Nah.” She flicked her wrist. “You’re not my type. Tall, good-looking, and kind with pretty eyes?Blech.”
“I know what you mean. If only I were into goddesses with beautiful brown skin, sultry eyes, and a perfect mouth. Makes me nauseous thinking about the sweet sound of your voice and the way you say my name.”
“Joel.”
He shuddered. “Disgusting.”
She laughed.
He smiled, his focus on the setting sun at the edge of the clear ocean waters. The winds whipped his hair around, and she forced herself to look away, knowing she could stare at this man for hours if given the chance.
She thought back to the fantasy life they’d built together. The idea of a short courtship because they’d essentially been together for years, and then he would propose to her on the beach.
Now, it all seemed like too much.
They spent so much time together that “dating” seemed pretentious. She and Joel could walk into a chapel tomorrow and get married, and it would be virtually no different from a couple who’d spent a few years together before taking the leap.
“Who from Curtis’ family did you talk to today?” he asked. “I’ve been watching you. You didn’t come out here only to listen to the waves.”
She knew she’d have to lie, but for a moment, she considered telling him. She considered what he would do and how he would react if he read the text from Curtis’ grandmother, sent through one of Curtis’ older sisters. They’d sent it in response to her telling them she would go no-contact if they couldn’t accept Theo.
