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“You want me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“More than you want Adrían?”
She tried to leave his lap.
His arms kept her in place.
“Ayesha,” he sighed, “I understand your frustration, I do, but think about it. A lot’s been going on for us. Our youngest son’s having a tough time. I’m working to try to make him feel as safe as possible while trying not to spend so much time with him, Josiah feels left out. Then we moved in together, and we’re getting married, both of which have their own changes and adjustments. Plus, this shit with Central looms over my head every day.”
“What’s the deal with Adrían, then? Why is he a factor in any of this?”
“Because this shit with Adrían feels like somebody ripping my fucking heart out of my chest. Your feelings ran a lot deeper for this guy, and you won’t admit that for some reason. It’s like this man’s done more for you than I have.”
Adríanfigured out who hurt Theo.
Not him.
Not Theo’s so-called father.
Someone walked right into Theo’s room, and he didn’t know. He didn’t see the signs, and then when they showed up, he still missed them.
This was his family.
Ayesha, Josiah, and Theo were his world.
It didn’t matter that he and Ayesha never spoke the words out loud—he’d been their protector for as long as he’d been in their lives, and he’d failed to the point of causing his son significant trauma.
The night of the sleepover, he’d been helpless to remove the fear from Theo’s eyes. Yet, Adrían strolled in with a name.
Ayesha loved him.
He knew she did.
But this shithurt.
“Joel, are you being serious right now?” The last word came out so choked, it was nearly inaudible. “Is that what you honestly think? ThatAdrían Queiróshas done more for me, Josiah, and Theo thanyou?”
“Eesh, I can’t lose you.”
“How could you possibly think…” She reached up and thrust her fingers through his hair, which stole a groan from his throat. “Joel, I don’t know what to say here. Throw me a lifeline or something.”
“I think Syd’s pregnant.”
“What?” She dropped her hands to her sides. “Pregnant? Like, with a baby? Of course, it’s a baby. What I mean is, is it…did you…are you two…is it your baby?”
“Ayesha, really? No, baby, it’s Dmitri’s. At least, I’m assuming.”
“Is that what she came to tell you?”
“All she said was that she wanted to talk, but Syd must have forgotten how long I’ve known her. She’s pregnant. I don’t know how far along, but that’s what it is.”
Pregnant by a man she’d known less than a year. How did he know he wouldn’t fall for Ayesha and settle into this life he loved with her and their boys, only for it to be ripped from him? Thinking about how many people he would assassinate just to get them back made him want to institutionalize himself.
“Ayesha, you’reeverythingto me,” he said. “You mean the world to me. I’ve never felt this way in my life.”
“Joel, I won’t leave you.”
