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“Babe, you’re not a failure as a mother. The boys are smart, thoughtful, kind. This is just an obstacle we have to figure out to help Theo over or through. You’re an amazing mama.”
The stress of it all affected her more than she showed. After doing everything on her own for so long, she never quite relearned how to lean on others. Then she treated everyone else’s problems like a distraction, allowing her pain to fester beneath the surface.
“Thank you, Joel.”
“You don’t have to thank me, babe.” He leaned back and swiped hooked index fingers along her cheekbones. “But I need you to hear me when I say this, okay? Ayesha, we’re married. I love you. You’re my wife. We’re in this together. Truthfully, we’ve been in this together for a long time. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
CHAPTER22
“This is Ayesha,” Ayesha said, phone to her ear while she waited for Joel to return with snacks for their train ride.
“This is your doctor’s office,” the woman on the other side said. “We’re calling to let you know you’re due for an appointment. It’s time to check your IUD.”
Without a period or baby to worry about, she’d forgotten all about finding a gynecologist in Sweden.
“Oh, I forgot to let you guys know I moved. I live in Sweden now.”
“Fancy.”
She laughed. “I mean, I like it. It’s not perfect, obviously, but it doesn’t have to be.”
“Well, we can send your records to your new doctor whenever you’re ready,” the woman said. “Keep in mind, however, that your model lasts around three to four years.”
She stilled. “Three to four? I thought it was ten?”
“Don’t worry; that’s a common misconception. Copper IUDs last up to ten years, but the hormonal ones have varying lengths. Yours is in the three to four-year range.”
“Would I be able to tell if it’s no longer effective?”
“Eventually, but not right away. It can take months, maybe longer, for your period to return. But as soon as the device stops releasing the hormone, you technically would be able to conceive. It doesn’t mean you immediately will, but it’s something to consider.”
Joel headed her way.
“Um…well, thank you,” she said. “I’ll make sure to have my records sent up here.”
“You’re welcome. Good luck in Sweden.”
She ended the call.
Joel took a seat beside her and handed her a pretzel. “You okay?”
Roughly only five percent of what Joel had “given” her during this trip had entered her body via her mouth. Everything else, he released inside her, and it was plenty.
“Ayesha?”
“Um, yeah. I’m okay.”
She raised the pretzel to her nose and felt him watching her, but he didn’t ask any questions.
When her stomach didn’t turn, she exhaled. It would probably be too soon, but the possibility was still there if the IUD had tapped out as early as the night they’d half-made love on the living room sofa. They’d talked about a Joelita, but they never discussed what it would mean if Joelita was already growing inside her.
“You…sure?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I’m sure. I do have a question, though. What do you think would be a good time to start trying?”
“Trying what?”
“For a baby.”
