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I had just gotten off listening to the dirty words of my professor and the sounds of him jerking off.
I should feel ashamed, but instead all I felt was … that I wanted more.
ChapterFourteen
Grace
Iwas nervous about going to class, at seeing Lucian after the weekend, after what he’d said to me, what I’d admitted to him … and what we’d done over the phone.
I sat in my car in the parking lot, staring at the front entrance to the Stein Building, where Professor Goode was, where I’d have to face him and my true emotions. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but it seemed grossly inappropriate and fast, even after what all had happened.
This all seemed like a dream.
All Sunday I had worked on my paper, one that wasn’t due for weeks. But I needed to keep myself busy to keep my mind off other things, mainly how I was going to face Lucian.
I held the folder in my hand, the papers inside something I’d worked tirelessly on. I wanted it to be perfect; I wanted it to reflect how hard I’d worked. Hell, I wanted it to show that my mind wasn’t constantly preoccupied with Lucian.
Taking a deep breath, I opened the driver’s side door, climbed out, and reached inside to grab my bag. Once the strap was on my shoulders, I headed inside. I had hours before his class, but I wanted to drop this off before then, to maybe talk with him about everything. I wanted to make it less awkward, if possible.
Although I knew that was me unable to control myself.
Professor Goode was always calm and collected, always looked like he had his shit together. Me, on the other hand, I felt like I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
I slowed as I approached his office, the door shut, his name etched into the frosted glass. My heart was racing, and I was starting to breathe faster, to sweat. I didn’t know how long I stood there, but it seemed like forever.
I finally lifted my hand and brought my knuckles down on the glass a couple times. I took a step away, students walking back and forth behind me, oblivious to what I had with Professor Goode. I looked to the left, then to the right, wondering if they knew, if they could see how nervous I was. Could they tell that what we were doing wasn’t allowed?
“Come in,” he said in that deep timbre of his, his voice coming through the wood and glass and spearing right into me.
I felt an involuntary shiver race up my spine.
I grabbed the handle and turned, pulling open the door and stepping inside. The door was left partially open behind me as I stood there, staring at him as he sat behind his desk. He looked up at me, his dark gaze penetrating mine, the desire on his face instant.
“Grace,” he all but growled.
He leaned back in his leather chair, resting his arms beside him, and I couldn’t help but look down at how he had his shirt sleeves rolled up, his muscular, tanned forearms on display.
That was a weakness … powerful forearms that made me feel so feminine.
“Close the door behind you.” The order was laced with arousal, and I found myself reaching behind me without breaking his gaze, shutting it, and taking a deep breath in.
For long moments I just stood there, neither one of us saying anything, the heat in the room suddenly becoming scorching. I pictured me lying in bed as I spoke to him, as I touched myself and got off.
That had been something I’d never done before, but I realized I wanted to do more of it with Lucian.
I wanted to do so much more.
What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to act like this was a student/teacher relationship when it was anything but?
I curled my fingers tighter around the folder and took the few steps that were required to get to his desk. He didn’t say anything as he watched me set the folder down in front of him. Then I took a step back, rubbing my hand up and down my thigh.
He lowered his gaze to watch the act, then lifted his attention back up to look at me.
“You’re nervous.” He said it softly, not phrasing it like a question.
Of course I was, yet he seemed so collected.
“I wanted to hand in my paper in person.” God, it was so hot in his office.
