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“If you buy one Christmas onesie, you’re making a statement, so you might as well buy two.”
“Your logic baffles me.”
She grinned and dropped to the floor like a little kid. “Okay, so how the hell do we do this?”
He dumped out the lights and the various decorations. “Let’s start by filling the space with tacky junk I found in the storage room.”
“I love this journey for us.”
They set up a lighted snowman in one corner of the room, tied a squashed wreath to the window’s curtain rod, and taped loads of balding gold garland to the walls. He handed her some rumpled stockings and she hung them on hangers in the closet.
He’d also found a cheap novelty pillow in storage that made him laugh, so he tossed it onto the bed. It said “Let it snow,” but the spacing on the letters was wonky, and it looked more like ‘Le tits now.’
Talia nearly snorted out her now-cold cocoa. She placed the pillow neatly in the center of the regular bed pillows to showcase it, then stood back to observe the whole room. “I can’t tell if this looks awful or amazing,” she said.
“The magic of Christmas makes the awful look amazing. No one would watch Christmas movies otherwise.”
“When you put it that way, those tacky-ass bougie weddings make a lot more sense.”
He nodded as he pulled the limb of an artificial tree from a dusty box, and held it up. “Now the pièce de résistance.”
“That seems complicated.”
“It’s not.” He put the pole together and showed her how to pop the branches into place, and spread them out to make the tree look fuller. Soon they had a tree that looked only slightly better than Charlie Brown’s droopy little pine.
She’d never decorated one before, so she kept stopping to marvel at the pretty glittery bulbs, which made him smile. They over-decorated, so the limbs were bowing under the weight of the lights and bulbs. He dug the angel topper out and grimaced, handing it to her.
“This girl has lived some shit,” she said. The angel’s curly yellow hair was ratty and smelly, her big blue eyes were pink from leaking dye, and her dress was stained nicotine yellow. Talia stretched on her tiptoes, and plopped it on the tree. It tilted sideways and stayed there.
“Do you want me to fix that?” he asked.
She tilted her head the same direction the angel was leaning. “Nah. Perfection is overrated. I kind of like it like this.”
They laid out the tree skirt and then he handed her a bag. “These are the presents for my employees. I’ve got paper and tape. Want to wrap them with me?”
“I’m really bad at wrapping gifts,” she said. “It’ll look like a five year old did it.”
“That can only add to the charm.” They sat cross-legged on the floor and haphazardly wrapped stuffed animals, keychains, and random other things. They splayed them out under the tree and she sighed happily. “Now what?”
“Now we watch a movie.” He glanced at his phone. “When it’s over, it’ll be Christmas, and then we’ll open our gifts.”
She bit her lip. “I don’t have a gift for you.”
“That’s alright. Though, I do have one for you.”
“What? You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Yeah, well I did. Don’t argue with me about it. Just come here and watch a movie with me.”
Giving in, she turned down the lights and they cuddled close, eating sandwiches and chocolate peppermint fudge cake from the restaurant, while they watched Die Hard on her laptop. She pointed out all the ways it very much was a Christmas movie. Afterward, they put the music back on and he made her close her eyes while he placed presents under the tree and in her stocking.
She dug her hand into the stocking first and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “What is this?”
“Stockings are for simple joys,” he said.
Looking at him with suspicion she unfolded the paper and stared down at it unblinking. “‘Why did the doctor warn the dad not to eat Christmas tree decorations?’” She flipped the paper over. “‘He didn’t want him to catch tinsel-itis.’” Her groan could probably be heard on the next floor of the hotel. “This is the worst pun I’ve ever read.”
“You’re welcome,” he said cheerfully.
