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To say I was livid after that would be an understatement. Not only because Nikolai still went on with the fight despite me begging him not to, but also because of Lan.
He suspects something and he was positively murderous after the fight. He wouldn’t stop asking, “Why the fuck was Nikolai looking at you like that?”
While he didn’t specify what the ‘that’ was, I could see the accusatory look in his eyes and hear it in his tone.
Telling him anything is just a disaster waiting to happen, so I deflected, and it’s working for now.
That night, I naturally couldn’t go to the penthouse, because Lan was watching me like a fucking hawk. I was sure if I’d left, he would’ve followed me. No doubt about that.
So I texted Nikolai.
Me
Why on earth did you fight Landon? Now, he won’t stop pestering me and asking about why you kept looking at me.
Nikolai
And it’d be the end of the world to tell him the truth?
If I do, he’ll kill you.
Not if I kill him first.
He’s my twin brother, Nikolai. You can’t just talk about killing him and expect me to be okay with it.
But it’s okay if he attempts to kill me?
No, of course not. I’d much rather you stay away from each other.
Is that your way of saying you’ll never tell him about us?
That’s just a recipe for disaster. He’s not exactly your biggest fan.
The feeling is mutual. I hate the motherfucker.
Can’t you just ignore him? I’m sure he’ll ignore you, too.
Until the whole thing with Mia hopefully blows over.
Let me ask you. Do you ever plan on telling him about us?
I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.
How long do I have to wait? A month? A year? A decade? How long should I prepare to shove myself back into the closet with you?
I’m sorry.
Fuck you and your fucking brother.
That was the last text he sent me. Six days ago.
Six whole days.
I’ve waited for him in the penthouse, but he never shows up.
I’ve texted him a few times, but he’s never replied.
Every night, I hope he’ll come home. Every night, I sit on the sofa across from the lift until I fall asleep. Sometimes, I spend all-nighters obsessing and having to physically stop myself from bleeding my fucking wrist dry.
