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“Fuck…” I breathe, pressure forming behind my eyes as I look up at him. “When…did you get this?”
“After that night when I came to see you outside the mansion.”
“When you were on your high?”
“It wasn’t an impulse, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ve been wanting to do it for some time.”
My heart aches, and I want to say so many things, but all I manage is a choked, “Thanks.”
He narrows his eyes, and it looks so erotic with water cascading down his face. “You’re not panicking?”
“Why would I?”
“Because this means I love the fucking shit out of you, baby. I can’t live without you and you’re not allowed to leave me.”
My lips part and I watch him with a lump in my throat and my heart thundering so loudly, I can hear it over the buzzing in my ears.
“Hello?” He waves a hand in my face. “You going to say something? You’re starting to freak me out.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” I whisper the words that feel as if they’re being pulled from deep in my battered soul.
“Then don’t.”
He says it as if it’s simple. And itissimple for him. I wish it was the same for me.
I wish I could be the man he deserves.
I wish I could say the words back and not be flooded with the black ink and nausea.
Since I can’t, I get on my tiptoes and seal my lips to his. For the first time, my kiss is gentle, imploring, wanting to explore him, to express the burning feelings I can’t say out loud.
My fingers slide in his hair and I pull him closer until our chests press together, and we kiss under the water stream.
Nikolai’s arms wrap around my back to fuse us closer, but he doesn’t rush it, doesn’t turn it into a lustful frenzy like we’re used to.
Maybe it’s because he, too, knows this isn’t about lust anymore. It stopped being about lust a long time ago.
For me, it wasneverabout lust. I was drawn to him, which is why I wanted him. It wasn’t the other way around.
We kiss for what feels like hours. We kiss until it’s impossible to breathe in anything but each other’s air.
My hand strokes his hair while the other slides over his shoulder, back, and waist, then I grab a handful of his arse and grind him against me.
He releases a low rumble that explodes from his lips all the way to his chest. I feel every vibration against my heated skin.
All the blood rushes to my already aching cock and it pulses with need.
Nikolai hisses when I plant one leg between his and wrap the other around his thigh. His cock brushes against mine, the pierced crown eliciting primal pleasure from deep inside me. The new angle lets him rub the length of his dick against mine, sliding, rutting until we’re panting in each other’s mouths.
The sucking sounds of our lips echo louder, needier, now in the midst of streaming water as I hump him with a desire so colossal, I feel like I can’t survive if I don’t touch him.
I reach between us and tighten my first around our cocks, jerking us in a firm grip, squeezing the way he loves it.
All this time, I’ve been so attuned to what and where he likes to be touched that I’ve become an expert in sucking his balls dry. Literally.
It took me time compared to his experience and natural talent, but I’m nothing if not a fast learner.
His sharp intake of air gives me the incentive to go rougher until he’s bucking his hips and fucking my hand.
