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His expression softens and some of that emptiness cracks and vanishes with each of his deep breaths. “I’m sorry.”
“What did I say about apologizing for no reason?”
“There’s a reason. I hate that you feel judged.”
“I couldn’t care less about him and his useless, entirely meaningless opinion. As Dad says, he can go fuck himself.”
“God. I love how you give the world the middle finger without caring about anything or anyone.”
“If that’s what they deserve, that’s exactly what they’ll get.”
“Did you…” he trails off. “Forget it.”
“If you have something to ask me, just ask.”
His hands land on my hips, his face appearing a bit fragile, vulnerable, even. “Have you thought about your future within the mafia? What your uncle said makes sense and it’s not like you aren’t attracted to women, so you could do it for the image—”
“Don’t finish that or I’ll be pissed at you. Do you think I’d get married or do shit just for the mafia’s sake or an image? Is that what you really think of me?”
His throat works up and down with a gulp. “No, but don’t you need to have kids?”
“I don’t if I don’t want to. It’s my decision and none of anyone else’s business.”
“But wouldn’t being with a guy hurt your position? I know how much you love the thrill of that life, so I’d hate to see you lose it.”
“I won’t. Jeremy, Vaughn, and I will rule over that empire. The two of them are the most important heirs to the Bratva and they don’t give a fuck about my sexuality, so neither will anyone who wants to keep his head in place.”
“Vaughn?”
“The Pakhan’s son. You might have seen him at the initiation. He wore the white mask.”
“Oh, right. But I’ve never seen him around.”
“And you never will—at least, not on the island. He lives in the States and just comes around for the initiations.” I cup his jaw. “Point is, don’t worry your pretty head about my position. I’ll fight tooth and nail for what I want. Is that understood?”
He nods.
I cock my head in the direction of the dining room. “You going to do what you want and ignore the hag?”
“After Mum’s exhibition. And, Nikolai?”
“Hmm?”
“Promise me you won’t talk to Grace.”
“Why not?”
His palms tremble as he wraps them around my cheeks. The agitation in his voice sends my hackles rising in a fraction of a second. “Promise me. Please.”
“Okay, I promise.”
He expels a long breath and then brushes his lips against mine. “Thanks.”
When he releases me, his movements are fluid and he even smiles. “Want to model for me?”
“Always.”
“Wait for me in the studio. I just need to speak to my dad and I’ll be there.” He starts to go but turns around and kisses me again, hard and fast, then whispers against my lips, “I can’t get enough of you, baby.”
