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I flatten my hands on the deck, lifting my head an inch in the air.
“I said…” Theo pulls me toward him by gripping my thighs. His biceps flex with the effort, highlighting the gorgeous veins on his arms. “I’mnotdone with you. You’re going to keep being my good little girl and lie down here while I eat you out.”
“Theo, I’m done for tonight. I—“
My resistance dies a quick and sudden death when Theo’s mouth closes in on my clit. Theo’s lips press harder to my fluttering mound when I groan in pleasure. He sucks on it hard, his teeth chafing my skin, his tongue flicking my clit.
“Jesus,” I yell out.
Screaming the Lord’s name seems blasphemous. Then again, He did create Theo. He did put him in my path for my pleasure. He conjured him to be my new neighbor. My extremely sinister neighbor. Who’s famished for me.
This, us—we fit. We’re good together. I need to believe it’s right.
My hands sink into his hair, pulling, tugging, begging the man devouring me for more. “Please don’t stop. Yes. Just like…just like that.”
“Keep your hands on your knees.” Theo’s voice is a whip, and I hurry to comply with his demand.
“Good girl.” He spears my sore, used hole with two fingers, hooking them inside me while he flattens his tongue on my clit. He laps at the over-sensitized nub, talking between each languorous lick. “I want your perfect little cunt open for me. Want to see every part of you from the inside out.”
“Yes, Theo. I’ll do anything.” My eyes close, my body surrenders to him.
“Look at me,” he demands.
And I do. The world could collapse around us and instead of running or trying to hide, I’m going to keep doing exactly what Theo tells me to.
“We’re not wrong.” Theo drags his smooth, warm tongue on me. He’s being painfully slow, unlike the fast rhythm with which he jabs his fingers into me. “Say it.”
With his sinister touch, with every stroke of his fingers, I’m losing my resistance. He thrusts into me relentlessly, his touch meant to propel me violently over the edge.
Then a sliver of lucidity permeates through the clouds of lust. My grasp on his hair lessens, my breath leaving me in a sigh.
“Theo, we shouldn’t—“
Sharp, unforgiving teeth sink into the crease where my butt meets my thigh.
“We. Are. Not. Wrong.”
Us having sex isn’t wrong. That’s what he means. Theo wants me for my body, and I, in a way, used him for his as well. What we’re doing is so carnal. So unlike me.
But I need more of him.
I’m not sure what I need anymore.
“We’re not, but this is wrong.” Tears well in my eyes, hating myself for how horny I am. For how I let my desires take the wheel for me.
Hating how I confused physical attraction to an emotional connection. It’s impossible. I don’t know him. I can’t possibly like-like him, as in the man beneath the skin. I saw him as this beautiful shell, and gosh, I really did use him.
“No,” he thunders.
“Please, no.” I push away. Once more, he keeps me locked in place, not letting me detach myself from his gilded cage of hedonism. “This isn’t right. We shouldn’t be doing this—“
“Is this astop?”
The question barrels into me. Choking down my panic. Suffocating my guilt.
I don’t want to stop.
But I’m treating him like a means to an end. Like his flesh and bones and muscles were brought to this earth, so I could do with them as I wish. It’s not fair to him. He should at least be aware of it.
