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There it is again, that prickling at the back of my neck I get when Ialmostremember something.Bhodi wasn’t always nice.I sort of know that. But was hethatbad? I don’t recall our every interaction to be able to know. And Bhodi said I kissed him before. Why can’t I rememberthat?
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Ask him about it.”
“I’m asking you.”
“And I’m choosing not to answer.”
“Agh!” I cry, throwing my hands up. “Why are you so infuriating?!?”
He just smirks in response. So I try another distraction technique. “Tell me about your job and your vices then.”
“Well, I’m not just a teacher. My team and I, we’re more on a sort of protection detail here at the university.”
“I see.” I totally don’t, but what else do I say to that?
“And I’ve been obsessed with my job for as long as I can remember. Nothing ever distracted me from my missions, until vice number two came along.”
“What was vice number two?”
“A girl.”
I crinkle my nose at that. It seems so…so lame. “Really?”
“Yes. It was unexpected, but the most striking, refreshingly different and unobtainable girl walked into my life and sent me into a tailspin.”
“Why?”
“Because I couldn’t have her.”
It’s really hard not to treat him to one of his signature derisive snorts at that.Oh, how Shakespearean, unrequited love, you poor thing.
“Why not?”
“She’s a student. And a distraction from my job.”
My feelings for my doctor –Reef– surface. Okay, so he’s notreallymy therapist, but when Ithoughthe was, I had a crush…but it was harmless. I can’t imagine feeling the way I do about Cove or Bhodi, for someone that would be off limits to me. It would be like…like me and the professor.
Insane.
And yet…
Nope! Not going there!
“Oh. That’s…actually pretty awful.” There’s a pang in my chest which I absentmindedly rub.Am I feeling sorry for my professor now?
“Yeah. Hence vice three: the drink.”
“To drown your sorrows?”
“Constantly. And to answer your question,thatis why I’m such an asshole to you.”
“Because you drink?”
“Because I’m rarely sober. It’s not an excuse for being a dick, but it is a reason why I am.”
“So just because you can’t have the girl of your dreams, you’re a knob to the rest of the world?”Seems weak to me.
