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“But you suspected.”
Reluctantly, I nod. “I didn’t think…I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I didn’t think it would be that bad. That it would be this hard. The plan was simple: find the star, save our world. I didn’t expect to fall—”
“For the job. Because that’s all I am to you guys, isn’t it? A job.”
“No, Malia.” I shake my head sadly. “It’s not that at all.”
How am I meant to tell her that I’ve fallen for her without making this whole damn situation a thousand times worse? If our roles were reversed would I want to know that the girl I love is planning to kill me, but loves me too? It’s too cruel.
Malia takes a deep breath and looks away, staring out the window at the ocean view. The silence stretches on, heavy and oppressive, until she finally speaks again.
“I need some time to think. To figure out what I want to do next.” She turns to me, her expression softening just a fraction. “But I need you to promise me something, okay?”
“Anything,” I reply instantly.
“If this mission goes wrong for whatever reason…if…if me dying doesn’t save our worlds, I need you to promise me that you’ll do whatever it takes to save yourself and the others. Even if that means leaving me…my body…behind.”
A surge of anger, hot and fierce, floods me at her suggestion. I open my mouth to protest, but the prof cuts me off.
“Malia’s right,” the prof interrupts, his voice strained and tense. “We have to prioritise our own survival. Otherwise, what’s the point? We still have a queen to find, protect and serve. Even if she doesn’t have a home to return to.”
“Malia, if it comes to that, we’ll all wish we were dead anyway. I don’t want to live in any world that’s ruled by Shikari,” Cove tells her gently.
He reaches for her hand but she pulls away, cringing.
“Sorry. I just need…some space,” she murmurs.
“Of course. I understand. I’m sorry,” he replies, sounding strained and oddly formal.
I watch the exchange, feeling a strange sense of detachment. It’s like I’m observing someone else’s life play out, not my own. But then I realise that I’m probably not the only one feeling this way. The tension in the room is palpable, and I can see it etched on everyone’s faces. We’re all scared. We’re all uncertain. And we’re all wondering if we’ll make it out alive.
For a moment, no one speaks. We’re all lost in our own thoughts, our own fears. But then I break the silence.
“We’ll make it,” I say, my voice surprisingly steady. “We’ll find a way. We have to. We can’t give up now.”
Malia looks at me, her eyes searching mine. For a moment, I think she’s going to say something, but then she just nods.
“I’m going to go to bed and sleep on this. It’s been a lot to take in, and I need time to digest it all.”
“Of course,” I tell her, sounding almost as formal and uptight as Cove and hating myself for it.
“Miss Van der Zee?” The professor calls, halting her exit.
“Yes?” I can tell she’s gritting her teeth, and her knuckles are white on the bannister. Why is he using her title like that? Now is not the time to be putting distance between us and her. We shouldn’t be alienating her. We should be falling over ourselves to find a solution that doesn’t result in her death, so that we can keep her. Not driving her away with harsh formality.
“Now that you know what’s at stake, please abide by the safety measures we have in place.”
“I will,” she replies tightly.
“I mean it. Do not leave this property.”
“I said I would, okay!” she yells, but her voice breaks on the final word and she takes off running, sprinting up the stairs two at a time. I want to hit him for being such a dick to her.
But I know that the professor is just as scared as the rest of us. He’s just better at hiding it.
I turn to Cove, who’s still staring up at the stairs where Malia disappeared.
“She’s right,” I say, breaking the tense silence. “We all need some rest. It’s going to be a long journey ahead.”
