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She clung to me like I was her lifeline.
I’m not used to that. I’m not the aftercare guy. I don’t do soft and gentle. That’s Dash’s area of expertise. But it stirred something in my chest that I didn’t hate. And when she told me that guy was…fuck. I’ve never been so quick to anger before. Well, not in defence of someone else anyway. I wanted to march up the stairs and kill him myself.
Instead, I held her tighter in my arms, feeling her warm breath on my neck and the weight of her body against mine. I let her presence ground me, bring me down from the ledge of doing something stupid. And I couldn’t help but feel a protective urge for her. She looked so vulnerable, so delicate, and yet I knew she was tougher than any of us combined.
Trying to tell Wint without words what that piece of shit did was hard. All I wanted to do was drop her into his embrace so that I could take the matter into my own hands, but I was afraid to use the word ’rapist’ around Candy, not wanting to trigger another panic attack.
I couldn’t hide my anger towards Wint though. Admissions and safety, background checks, it’s all his area of expertise. He’s always claiming we have the best investigators in the country vetting our members, and yet somehow he allowed a piece of shit to slip through the net. How? How could this happen? How many members have we inadvertently endangered by allowing him amongst our midst? And then when he suggested that she might have been mistaken in identifying him…
I knew I had to keep my head clear and my emotions in check. We had to figure out what to do next and how to protect our group from this predator.
But as I looked down at Candy in a heap on the bathroom floor, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Anger, protectiveness, desire, and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
I needed to get out of there before the anger and violence consumed me, but something made me pause. Knowing that she needed me suddenly became more important than my need for vengeance.
I tried my best to reassure her, but I don’t think she believed me. Why would she when I’ve been nothing but a dick to her since she arrived?
I don’t even know what made me kiss her.
Maybe it was the adrenaline from the anger and the protective urge that had been coursing through my veins, maybe it was the way her lips looked so soft and inviting. Or maybe it was the fact that I couldn’t deny the attraction any longer. Whatever it was, when I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, I felt a jolt of electricity pass between us.
It was a kiss born out of chaos, out of fear and anger and desire all mixed together. She tasted like peppermint and something warm and sweet, and I found myself lost in the sensation of it all.
But as soon as it began, it was over. I pulled back, watching as she blinked up at me, her eyes wide and confused.
I shouldn’t have done it, but I don’t regret it.
The only regret I have is watching her climb those stairs and not being by her side. Telling her she’sgot thislike some fucking cheerleader watching from the sidelines. What a twatish thing to say.
I don’t care that Dash and Don would be in there with her. It should have been me by her side, holding her hard, reassuring her. That must have been the hardest climb she ever had to make, while I just stood at the bottom and watched.
I shouldn’t have sent her to face her rapist alone.
CANDY
I focus entirely on the VIP guest as I enter and cross the room to him. Every step I take is shaky, like my legs are made of jelly, but I force myself to keep going.
“Where have you been?” he snaps.
I swallow the lump in my throat before answering. “My apologies, Sir, I was retrieving your requested drink.”
“Let me see it then,” he says with a sigh. “You were gone so long I was starting to wonder if you’d gone to Scotland to get it.” The others laugh at his joke, one grating louder than the rest and I’m rigid to prevent myself from flinching at the sound. He always laughed while he…
“I’m sorry, Sir. I wanted to ensure I got the right one for you,” I all but whisper.
He nods for me to hold out the bottle, and when I do he inspects the label. “Very well,” he says a moment later. “You may serve us.”
With shaking hands I unscrew the bottle and pour a generous amount into the whiskey glass I placed on the small golden table before he arrived. He waves me off and I move on to Dash. He catches my eye and gives me a kind, encouraging smile as I pour his drink. It’s hard to move on.
The next guy doesn’t spare me a glance, nor the one after that. It’s the fifth chair. I don’t even have to look up. His cologne hits me square in the face, making it hard to breathe, and I accidentally chink the top of the bottle on the rim of his class.
There was a plan….a signal…something I was meant to do…but I can’t. I’m frozen. Suspended in the present but barely hanging on by a thread as my demons try to drag me back to my past.
“Watch it, whore,” he hisses, and my vision darkens until I’m almost back in that foster home.
A gentle cough brings me back and I swiftly move on to put as much distance between me and that monster as possible without dropping the whiskey and running.
Once I’ve filled everyone’s drink, I return the bottle to the VIP’s side table and await instruction.
