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Am I okay?“I think so.”
This seems to satisfy her.
“Well, I’ll get you your phone then.” She leaves and returns a few moments later with my silver iPhone. I scroll through my messages. There are a few from work. A handful from friends. And there’s a bunch from Dax that I remember, leading right up to the night of the love cleanse. Then they sort of drop off and get very weird.
Got your messages. Sorry. Busy week. Talk soon.
Another busy week. I know I owe you a coffee.
Won’t make curling again tonight. Tell everyone I’m sorry.
Going away for a week or two. Any chance you can water my plants while I’m gone?
My heart tanks.
The tiny shred of hope I had that we might be in love in this reality is gone. Things are weird. I can tell by these texts and my responses. Dax is avoiding me.
My knees give out, and I’m grateful for my strategic standing spot as my butt hits Kierst’s sectional with an audiblethwack.
I have to remind myself that this was supposed to happen. Dax and I were supposed to have gone back to being friends. It is what I wanted, right?
“You are starting to worry me, Gems.” Kiersten sinks down next to me, her cool hand finding my wrist.
“It’s nothing. I’m just in love with Dax. And he is not in love with me, and it’s just a little bit overwhelming right now becausealthough this was the plan, I didn’t quite account for how bad it was going to feel.”
The waterworks come. I don’t even try to stop them. There’s no point. The tears fall, coating my face and the backs of my hands as I attempt to gain some semblance of composure.
“Well, at least you’re admitting it now.” Kiersten’s hands find my back, rubbing slow, comforting circles.
“You knew?”
“I think everyone knew.”
“Even Dax?”
“Well, maybe not Dax, although I have reasons to believe your feelings may not be so unrequited.”
“But he left. And I don’t think we’re on the greatest of terms right now.”
Kiersten produces a wad of Kleenex from within the pocket of her robe. “You and Dax have been through a lot lately. You ended a relationship. It takes time to grieve. And collect your thoughts. It wouldn’t have been good for the two of you to fall into bed immediately.”
She makes a point. Not one I really want to hear right now, but a tiny consolation. I’m starting to piece together the last four weeks of the life I missed. But there are still some gaping holes I need to figure out or explain, like: “Why the hell am I living in the basement?”
At this, Kiersten starts to laugh.
“What?”
“Aunt Livi and I call it your mid-twenties crisis. About a month ago, you decided that you were done living a life you didn’t love anymore. You quit your job. You listed your condo. You moved into the basement because you claimed you needed to save money. When we questioned you about it, you told us you were working on something big. Your secret project.”
Wilde Beauty.
“Oursecret project.” The words feel right the moment I say them. I grab her hand and hold it in mine. “I’m starting my own store. It’s going to be beautiful. Clean beauty products. I’m going to work my ass off until I get it right. And you’re going to market it. Launch your business with me. This time we’re doing it together.”
Kiersten goes very still. “How did you…”
I wave her off. “It’s a very long story. The important thing is that I’m not gonna screw it up. Or take you for granted. I meant what I said earlier, Kierst. I owe you everything and I’m gonna make your dreams happen alongside mine.”
Her eyes narrow. “I’m going to say thank you but I’m still very confused.”
