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Beth held out her hand and said, “I will hold on tothisfeeling.”
“Hey,” I said. “Congratulations. I’m so happy for you. You and Raj will have a long, happy marriage, I know you will.”
“Does the sight of the ring bring up any twinges?” Beth asked.
“For me?” I laughed, maybe a little uncomfortably. “Oh no. I’m not the marrying kind.”
Clack. Clack. Clack. Siobhan was backagain.
“Beth, I have another idea about the film channel launch. Walk with me to my office.”
“Sure.” Beth jumped up. “What’s up?”
The two of them wandered off down the hall to Siobhan’s glassed-in office on the other side of the building. Doubtless, Siobhan was discussing some change in the catering, an update to the menu, and I could imagine the pressure building in Beth’s brain as a result. How was it that management never had any limits on their expectations?
Shaking my head, I turned back to my computer and checked most of my listings to make sure they were correct. Marriage. No, that was definitely not for me.
Watching as my mother was crushed when my father left and then seeing the succession of heartbreaks masquerading as relationships that she went through in the years B.C. (Before Carl) had soured the idea of marriage completely. I didn’t see the necessity of it, and I couldn’t comprehend why anyone would want to legally entangle themselves in something that had such a poor success rate. Rob’s markets did better than most of the marriages in my life. Apart from Rob’s parents, I could not think of a single couple in my extended family who were still together. Who hadn’t completely ruined each other in the process of proclaiming their unhappiness and battling it out in the courts.
I appreciated Beth’s excitement—she hadn’t been chasing a ring like it was the “ever after” from her own personal fairy tale. She genuinely loved Raj, and the fierceness of that affection drove her through the complexities of dealing with both of their family’s expectations. They would make it work, have beautiful babies, and end up taking amazing retirement tours to places like Egypt and the Arctic. I had faith in my friend. Ididn’thave faith in the institution of marriage.
Before I remembered I was upset with him, I picked up the phone and dialed Garrett’s extension. He answered with the usual “Buddy, what’s up?”
“When you’ve finished breaking the waves and checking me later, call Beth and convince her to come out for a drink tonight.”
“Kelly, her desk is, like, two feet from yours.”
“Trust me, there’s something she wants to tell you in person—you need to ask her. Be casual, but firm.”
“All right, so we’ll meet at the pub at three or so?”
“Yeah, but I’ve got to go right at five because I’ve got dinner at Rob’s mom’s tonight.”
“Ah, family.”
I sighed. “Happy fucking Christmas, right?”
After hanging up, I hunkered down and did some work. Reviewed Siobhan’s list and sent the follow-up notes. Revised a press release, helped the assistants with some press release language, and surfed the internet to see if I could find bloggers interested in reviewing some of our shows. Easy work. Mindless work. At around two, Siobhan sent out a department-wide email telling us to switch on the holiday messages on our phones and to head out. She would take one for the team and stay until five.
Garrett sent me a quick note:We got the okay to leave, you?
Yup, I answered.Getting my coat, I’ll meet you downstairs in five minutes.
Within thirty seconds of Siobhan’s note, the entire atmosphere of the office changed; laughing and talking replaced the click-clacking of keyboards; and everyone was up on their feet making the Merry Christmas! And Happy holidays! Rounds. Rescuing my coat from the overflowing cupboard, I hugged my co-workers on my way out the door.
I reached Beth’s cube. “Ready?”
She replied, still typing, “I’ll meet you over there. I need to get the final New Year’s schedule for the celebs off to their unit publicist.”
“Do you want me to stay and help?”
“No, go get a drink. I’ll be right there, I promise.” Beth typed as she talked. “Plus, Siobhan approved a loaner laptop for me so at least I can do the rest of my planning from home. Nothing says holiday like all the extra hours spent on a giant media bash for preternaturally juvenile television stars.”
“And on that note, I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Uh-huh.”
As I stepped inside the elevator, somehow, it didn’t feel like the holidays. The usual elation I felt at knowing that I didn’t have to deal with anything home- or garden-related for a full ten days was missing. It meant ten days away from Garrett. It meant ten days of real life. It meant ten days of coming to terms with my sister being pregnant and Beth getting married. Ten days of deeply intense conversations with Rob about our future. Ten days of avoiding any kind of emotions. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
