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Kyle was touched that she remembered. “With one disastrous exception, yes, I’ve always taught 4/5/6. The first year I taught here in Wardham, the only class that was available for me was grade 1. We all survived, but I was greatly relieved when Mrs. Schroeder retired the following year and I got her class.”
“Oh my god, Mrs. Schroeder. She taught me grade 5.”
“Me too,” Kyle said, stretching his feet out toward the ottoman between them.
“I don’t really remember you in elementary school.”
“I remember you.”
They both fell silent. Kyle knew she was thinking about her first year of high school. It was a story he both loved and hated. That’s when she had first noticed him, hanging out with her sister and a bunch of other older students. Evie and Laney had always been close, and when a couple of other girls bristled at the nerdy grade nine student being invited to share lunch with the group, Kyle had smoothed it over with an easy smile, and asked her to sit next to him. He meant it as a protective gesture, but her crush was born that day, and persisted until her final year of university when she finally threw herself at him. He honestly had never realized how she felt, but at the first press of her body against his, he knew that ignorance must have been a self-defense mechanism because he was lost forever in a sea of Laney.
“You’re right, it’s been a long time.” She stood up. “Is there more coffee?”
Kyle nodded and followed her into the kitchen. He couldn’t help himself, he wanted to be close to her. He leaned his hip against the counter, watching her pour herself a cup. She added milk, but skipped the sugar. He raised an eyebrow, and she smiled.
“People change,” she said.
“In some ways. You haven’t changed that much in other ways.” She was still beautiful. Maybe even more than ever. And every passing minute seemed to ping another memory of how they’d been together. Their natural chemistry and shared interests—naked and otherwise.
She shifted from one foot to the other. “Neither have you.”
They stood there, staring at each other, and Kyle wanted to take the mug out of her hands and ease her against the counter. Press into her and show her that most of all, his attraction to her had never changed, that her mouth still drove him to distraction, her mind still made him crazy and her body still brought him to his knees.
A hiss of air dragged him out of his fantasy. He cleared his throat and shifted back, painfully aware that his state of arousal was on full display, and Laney had noticed. She dragged her gaze back up to his face, her eyes wide with a mix of desire and fear. He needed to back off, as much as he wanted to do the complete opposite. “Let’s sit down again. I…there’s something that I need to say to you, that’s long overdue.”
Laney followed Kyle to the sitting area, confused by the moment they had just shared in the kitchen. If he hadn’t moved away from her, she probably would have launched herself onto his body and rubbed up against him like a cat in heat. She hadn’t felt this overwhelmed by lust since they were together in college. She thought she had outgrown such feelings, but apparently not. She pressed her thighs together as she curled up on the couch again. She ached from hip to hip, inflamed with desire and dying for Kyle to touch her.
“I owe you an apology.”
She didn’t know what she was expecting Kyle to say, but that wasn’t it. An odd tightness pulled across her chest, her shoulders curling up and in like she was a hedgehog under attack. She breathed out, a quiet rush of air over her bottom lip reminding her she was staring, mouth open. She blinked, searching for something, anything to say. Nothing came to mind.
“Laney…dammit, stop looking at me like that. I don’t want to hurt you, I want to free you. Free myself, if I’m being honest. Please just listen to me.”
She nodded, not sure she’d heard everything over the pounding in her ears, but as much as it hurt, she also wanted to have that final conversation they’d never had.
“…and I think that’s why it took me so long to get over you, because I was wallowing in pain. I thought you’d broken up with me. I was convinced you’d come back someday, and when you moved to Calgary, I knew it was finally over.”
She was on her feet, shaking from head to toe, before she realized rage had taken over. “Excuse me? What the kind of apology is this, Kyle?” Laney swiped at hot tears now freely sliding down her cheeks.
She stalked toward him, counting on her fingers the points he had missed. “First, you broke up with me. You broke my heart, asshole. I asked you to wait for me and you said it was too much. Second, I tried to talk to you, you wouldn’t come to the phone or answer my emails. Third—”
“I never read them,” Kyle muttered, so low she almost missed it.
“Then that’s the third point.” She stopped in front of him, bitter, angry defenses all in place, ready to do battle. “Fourth, if you think that I’m going to absolve you, free you, whatever that means, you’ve got another thought coming, mister, because I will never forgive you for ruining love for me.”
Chapter 6
Somehow, he’d bungled this up. That barely scratched the surface of how colossally wrong he’d gone about this conversation, actually. Kyle wanted to press pause and re-group, but Laney was unleashed and there was no going back. It was killing him to hear how much pain she’d held inside for so long, but she needed to let it out, needed to make him hear what he’d avoided as a younger man.
Realizing that she was spent, at least momentarily, Kyle reached for her hands and tugged her down so she was sitting on the ottoman in front of him. “I ruined love for me too, you know. And I’m so sorry I did that. I shouldn’t have said all of that before, it doesn’t matter. I was just trying to explain why it took me so long to realize that our breakup was my fault. But I know that it was, and I’m sorry that I did that to you. You didn’t deserve it.”
She stared at their hands, fingers still twisted together. He wanted to do something more, hug her or wipe away her tears, but he worried that she might bolt if pushed too far. His Laney of long ago had been free with her emotions, full of love and passion, easy to rile up, fun to spar with, but also happy to be soothed by lovemaking. It was his fault that this flood of anger was now so foreign to her that she didn’t know how to cope. He’d stolen more than her love.
Kyle pushed against that regret, shaking his head. He could wallow once she had gone; right now he had some making right to do. “Laney—” his voice was strained, and he cleared his throat. “Sweetheart, you can let it all out. Hit me. Flog me up and down Main Street. I can take it.”
“I’ve never admitted that before,” she said, her voice quiet. “To myself, I mean. I thought I didn’t want to love anyone—I thought it was my choice.”
Kyle took a chance and pulled her into his lap. Twelve years hadn’t changed a thing, their bodies still fit together perfectly, even though she was coiled tighter than a rattlesnake. He stroked up and down her spine through the soft sweater, willing her to relax, until she eased her head onto his shoulder. Inch by inch, her entire body settled into his, and he felt the top layer of her tension ebb away. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and hoped that the warmth between their bodies felt as healing for Laney as it did for him. She curled her arm across his chest, and with a sigh, relaxed fully. For the first time since she’d arrived, Kyle felt completely comfortable. Exhausted and sad, but comfortable. He’d take it.
