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When all I wanted was a fuck.
Liar.
Instead of running after him, I got back in my bunk. We both needed space to process at this point. Not that sleep was going to come easy.
One hour passed, then two, and then, finally I drifted off to sleep. To fitful dreams.
My alarm blared at nine, but I was already awake. I just didn’t want to get out of bed.
I wondered where Kiernan had slept. If he’d slept as badly as me. Was he okay? Fuck, I needed to talk to him.
If he ever wanted to talk to me again.
He came out to you. And then you fucked it all up.
I couldn’t ruminate anymore. My phone buzzed with a reminder from George that the Carters and their friends were due to arrive in a half hour. I had to get up and get the ship ready to leave port. I slid off my bunk and slipped into the washroom.
Ten minutes later, I left my cabin in my shorts and t-shirt and headed for the crew kitchen.
It was empty. No sign of Kiernan.
I made a cup of iced coffee, downed half of it and grabbed an apple, making my way to the bridge deck.
And that’s where I spotted him.
Kiernan was leaning on the railing, looking out to sea. The only thing he was wearing were those low-slung grey sweatpants.
But it wasn’t his body I was focused on, it was his face. He looked so lost that I couldn’t stand it. I wasn’t going to let what happened last night drive a wedge between us. I was going to make this right.
I marched onto the deck and Kiernan turned when he spotted me.
“I’m sorry.”
We both blurted out at the same time and then laughed.
“I don’t want to lose your friendship,” I said, moving closer.
“I don’t want to lose yours,” he replied, his voice hoarse.
“We’re leaving the dock shortly and I’ve got stuff to get sorted. Can we talk later?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Can I hug you?” Kiernan asked softly. “Is that weird?”
God, this man was killing me. But I couldn’t deny him.
“Not at all.”
I leaned forward and slid my arms around his waist. I was surrounded by the scent of man sweat and cinnamon.
A lethal combination.
What was even more dangerous?
The sound of Kiernan’s heart, beating rapidly under my cheek.
