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I carried Ginger and followed him.
As soon as we set the crates on board, we let the dogs loose.
They greeted everyone with excited barks and licks.
Luna and Stella peeled off down the deck and ran around with the zoomies until they calmed.
Ginger, on the other hand, stayed close to Rafe and George, covering them with welcoming licks and sniffles. Then she ambled back to me, sat at my feet, and pawed at my leg. I finally gave in to her charms and picked her up.
Who could resist that adorable face?
I cradled her to my chest with one hand and felt her tiny body snuggle against mine. I told her that she was beautiful and such a good girl, and I got a few approving licks to the face in response. When I finally looked away from her big brown eyes, I caught Charlie staring at me again.
“You all right?” I asked, concerned that he might be out of sorts.
“Fine,” he replied and nodded quickly.
He didn’t look it. Matter of fact, he looked like he was going to puke.
“You nervous about leaving port?” I lowered my voice so no one could overhear.
Charlie shook his head. “Not at all. I’m ready.”
“Good. I thought you were going to yack there for a moment. Never seen you so pale.”
Running a hand through his thick hair, he let out a nervous laugh. “I’m fine. It’s just been a trip full of… unexpected surprises.”
“But we haven’t even left the dock yet.”
I pushed my sunglasses to rest on top of my head. When Charlie’s blue gaze locked with mine, I knew.
His comment had nothing to do with work.
CHAPTER8
CHARLIE
Istood in the wheelhouse, my eyes glued to the radar screen and the weather forecast in front of me.
Thank God for the distraction of work.
Because nothing else could get the picture of Kiernan holding Ginger out of my head. He was so gentle with her, so at ease like he rarely was, and it touched something inside me, something that I thought for sure I’d never feel again.
The part of me that wanted more than a physical release. The part of me that wanted real intimacy and affection. And the part of me that was envious of all the couples—and throuple—that had boarded with us.
It made me think back to my first year in college, when I was living in residence. I’d fallen hard for my roommate, Matty. Straight, gorgeous, funny Matty. And even though our friendship deepened, he never saw me as anything but his buddy. And I couldn’t think about anything else but wanting more.
The next year, I came out and moved out. Out of residence and into a rental house with other queer students.
My friendship with Matty was never the same.
I was never the same.
We never talked about why, but he knew. When I told him I was moving out, he’d tried to reach out and hug me, but I refused. I just… couldn’t. I remembered his expression so clearly from that day. The way his eyes widened and then that pitying look. I knew that he knew. It was still difficult to see him around on campus. Especially when he started dating one of my classmates, Hannah. Even after graduating, I still wondered what he was up to and where he’d ended up. I hated that I couldn’t let my feelings go.
In time, I did. But let’s just say the experience didn’t sell me on falling in love.
Ever.
