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I’m so happy for you, Char.
But he’s not out to his mum yet. Or his friends. What if he changes his mind? Being together on the ship is one thing. Being out in public is a totally different story. He has no idea what comes next.
You told me his brother is queer, so he has some idea.
Yeah, but it’s different when it’s you. I mean, he’s kinda shy. And being openly queer means people scrutinize you all the time. What if he freaks out and changes his mind? I don’t know if I can go back to being just friends. I think I love him.
You think?
I love him, okay? I know it, but it fucking scares me to think it. And say it.
I drive fast cars for a living, I know all about fear. You just gotta embrace it. It makes you feel alive. Even if you get hurt, it’s so much better than playing it safe.
Spoken like a true adrenaline junkie… thanks.
Once the craziness of Christmas is over, talk to your man.
There’s also the long-distance thing.
I can’t speak to that. If you want him, you gotta talk. Figure shit out.
Merry Christmas, brother. Love you.
Love you too.
Kiernan headed out of our cabin first.
Finally.
I still had his Christmas card to write and because we were always together, I hadn’t found a moment alone to get it done.
His gifts were wrapped and ready.
I knew how much Kiernan loved dogs, but unfortunately, a puppy was out of the question. At this point. Instead, I made an online donation to a local animal shelter in Dublin, in his name.
And I also purchased a necklace.
We’d stopped at Tortola a few days ago and as soon as I saw it, I knew I had to buy it. The necklace was made of triple braided leather and finished with an amber pendant. Kiernan didn’t wear jewelry on the job, but he’d shown me pictures of him with friends back home, and he often wore bracelets, leather cuffs, and a necklace with a Celtic cross.
When I was in that jewelry store, that’s when I knew. That’s when it hit me.
I was transfixed by the color of the stone. It reminded me of his eyes.
And I realized in that moment that I had fallen in love with Kiernan. Probably since the moment we met four months ago. I just didn’t believe it could happen.
But here we were.
Even if I’d been uncertain when this relationship started, my heart knew what it wanted all along.
Was it fast? Maybe. People have fallen in love in less time, I’m sure.
Was it right? Yes. Hell, yes.
And the thing was, I was certain he felt the same way.
The fear was still there at the surface, but my brother was right.
I was ready to dive in.
