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“Oh God,” Kiernan rolled up to a sitting position and helped me do the same.
“That’s what I said to George, but it still didn’t make up for the pain of that wood in my arse. I mean, splinter. The splinter in my arse.”
Rafe chuckled with a wicked grin and George, who was standing beside him, shook his head.
“I guess now that everyone is here, we can tell them,” Kiernan suggested as he stood up and held out his hand for mine. He pulled me up to my feet and I slid one arm around his waist.
“Tell us what?”
Kiernan flushed as red as the Christmas decorations around us.
“We’ve been celebrating. Charlie and I are boyfriends,” Kiernan proudly announced.
Cheers and claps rang out around us.
Kiernan leaned down and kissed me. In front of everyone.
“Okay, so now do y’all believe me about the love spell?” Andrew asked out loud.
No one argued with that.
Kiernan
The sun deck turned into a dance floor, and we stayed up partying until two in the morning.
Charlie and I were floating on cloud nine.
And I’d documented every moment with my phone. Of course, my boyfriend teased me mercilessly about it.
God, I had a boyfriend. Just calling him that had me flushed with excitement.
I couldn’t help it. And I couldn’t help but document every moment I had with him.
I needed to bring these memories home with me. And I wanted everyone to know how I felt about Charlie.
We stumbled into bed and oddly enough, he dropped off to sleep right away.
Me? I was too overloaded to wind down.
Perusing social media, I clicked on my account and then uploaded the picture of Charlie and I kissing on the lounger. Then I edited my profile info.
My fingers hovered over the share button for a second.
I pressed it and hoped for the best.
It didn’t take but a few seconds for likes, follows, and comments to populate. But I also watched as I lost followers and gained nasty comments. I had to block quite a few people.
And this was just online. The reality of being out when I got back home was just beginning.
It’s true that I witnessed what Korry went through when he came out. But from a certain distance. It’s different when it’s your lived experience.
Charlie didn’t say it in so many words, but I knew that he worried about how I was going to handle things. In social situations I was self-conscious and no doubt, when he and I did go out together, we would be scrutinized. There were plenty of people who didn’t want to see gay couples (or throuples) being affectionate or getting married or having kids. Some were quiet in their discomfort, staring or glaring or hiding behind their usernames. Others were downright confrontational about how they felt.
In the beginning of my career, I used my fists to fight my battles. But it didn’t work out. Depression, anxiety, frustration over my personal life—it all let loose for a while, only to come roaring back again, stronger than ever.
And the only way I was going to create the life I wanted now, with Charlie, was to take care of myself. Falling in love was a beautiful gift, but it wouldn’t cure what ailed me.
And talking to a therapist would be a start.
