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“What the fuck, Jake? This ismyvacation? This isourvacation. You are the one who wanted to come here!”
“No. I wanted to come somewhere that was not work – your work. To be with you. But you may as well not even be here. You certainly seem to think I may as well not be here. You haven’t listened to a single thing I’ve said all week. I’m lucky I didn’t drown out there in the waves for as much as you would have noticed – or cared. So please, just leave.” He was speaking slowly, annunciating every syllable, seeking to impart as much meaning into each little word as possible. I was so sick of this shit.
“What? And leave you here on the beach? How are you getting back to Waikiki? This is stupid.”
“There’s a bus, Liss. Either you take it or I will.”
I fished the keys out of the dirt and opened the trunk, trying to weigh how serious he was, whether I should just climb in and drive off, leaving him on the other side of the island. This was just so stupid. I was just so tired. Compared to the supposed relaxation and pleasure of “vacation,” the grind of traveling for work was a walk in the park.
Even though it was still early, the sun does its work quickly and efficiently in the tropics and the bottles of water I had left in the car were warm. Still, the freshness was a relief after the saltiness of the ocean. Thirty feet from shore, a turtle, a massive honu, poked its head up, as though to check on the ruckus. I chucked a box of gauze and an ACE bandage in Jake’s direction. Not so much as a mumbled or grudging thanks.My responsibility.
“I knew you would leave,” Jake called out as I climbed into the driver’s seat and cranked the AC, Iz incongruously singing about rainbows as I flicked on the radio. “I dreamed it, you know?”
It was the only dream he ever shared with me.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
“How did youend up back in Ann Arbor?” Nao Kao texted me one evening.
“So many coincidences,” I replied. It was late.I should have waited until morning to reply,I thought belatedly.
“You didn’t used to believe in coincidences.”
I laughed despite myself.
“I still don’t. And coming back to Michigan is just another reason why not.”
My brother had sent me link to the job posting; he never said how he learned of it, though I strongly suspected that our mother had sent it to him in the hopes of luring him back home.
“You would be amazing!” Theo had written in the email, and when I read the description, I knew he was right. Still, his last line rankled: “You know Mom would be only too happy to pull the considerable strings available to her.”
“Would I be amazing or can I only get this job if I ask the great Rachael Zick to run interference for me?” I asked, by way of reply.
“Life doesn’t have to be either-or, Liss. Ends justifying means isn’t always Machiavellian…”
I debated until the day before the deadline, then took Theo’s advice. My mom didn’t flinch. I got an interview, then a second one, and then, mere weeks after I’d first learned of the job, I received an offer letter with terms that brought tears of joy to my eyes.
“I’m proud of you, Liss,” Jake said when I told him I wanted to accept. If either of us thought it was odd that I waited until I had a firm offer before I sprang the news on Jake, neither of us said so.
“You won’t mind moving back to Ann Arbor? What about your job?”
Jake shrugged ambivalently.
“There are schools in Michigan. I can work as a sub until I find something. I don’t mind.”
“You know I’ll be traveling at least once a month. You’re okay with that, too?”
“Of course, Liss. It’s a great job. You should take it. If you’re worried about Penny, don’t be. I think I can handle her.”
I laughed. Maybe it had been short-sighted to adopt a cat after all.
“And you’re sure you won’t mind me going back to school, too?” I had applied to the doctoral program even before I received the confirmation that my dream job was waiting for me.
“It’s what you’ve wanted as long as I’ve known you. There’s no time like the present!” Jake enthused, a little too brightly. “Seriously, Liss, I’ll be fine. I don’t need a babysitter – I’ll keep myself busy while you work and study. I don’t mind. And I’m proud of you! Really proud!”
I shouldn’t have been surprised. Jake never complained when I stayed late on campus to attend a lecture or audit a course. He encouraged me in my endeavors to learn to paint and draw, and praised my culinary efforts, even if we both knew I would never amount to much in the kitchen. He read my personal statements for a half-dozen doctoral program applications. He commiserated with me when I received the thin envelopes that foretold rejection and cheered the acceptance from Michigan when it came. And now he was all in for us to move back to Ann Arbor so that I could pursue academic and professional dreams. It should have been enough.
Three weeks later, we loaded our belonging into a U-Haul and headed east on I-94, one chapter closing and another opening. As if by a miracle, Nao Kao never crossed my mind.
