AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Oh.’ Josh glanced down at his trainers. ‘Right, well, we can just forget anything ever happened between us. If you’d prefer, of course.’
There, she’d done it. She had missed her chance, messed up. She deserved that, and it was probably for the best. It was for the best.
‘If that’s what you want?’ Looking up, he looked at her.
‘I...’ Did she tell him everything? Let him in? Let her walls down? Or did she do what was probably the sensible thing and agree with him, tell him they should forget it all? She met his gaze. There was definitely something there. She felt something for him and if the tension she felt in the room was anything to go by, then he might just feel something for her, too.
‘Okay.’ Josh began backing towards the door.
‘No, wait.’ Stepping towards him, she paused. It was now or never. ‘Look, it’s me. I’m not very good with all of this.’
‘And I am? The only relationship I’ve ever had was with my ex-girlfriend. She was my childhood sweetheart.’ He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘I’m completely out of my depth, but I know how I feel about you, and I know there’s something between us.’
Of course. He had told her before. She leaned against the counter and looked down at her hands. ‘I feel the same, but I just don’t think I can open myself up to having my heart broken again.’ She swallowed. That hadn’t come out the way she’d expected or planned. ‘Not that I would jump straight into something, anything, but just that I was with my ex for four years and now he’s getting married. After us being apart for less than a year.’
‘That’s just luck though.’
‘No, no, it’s not. There have been two more exes before him who have got married to the person they met after me. That’s not luck.’ She hooked her index fingers around the word luck. ‘That proves something.’
‘Proves what?’
‘That I wasn’t good enough. That I’m never enough and that the person I’m with always finds someone better than me.’ She swiped at her eyes. Why was she even crying?
Josh frowned. ‘But that’s the same as me declaring I would never get into another relationship because my ex left me. I wasn’t enough for her.’
‘That’s completely different.’
‘No, no, it’s not.’
‘Yes, it is. That’s one person, and not all relationships are meant to last. With me, though, to have three of my exes suddenly find undying love after they’ve split with me? That tells me that I’m not worthy of that and that I’ll never be enough for anyone.’
‘You wanted to marry them?’
‘What? No. Andrew and I decided amicably to split.’
Josh stepped towards her and held his hands out. ‘Then you can’t say that you’re not enough. You just weren’t right for each other.’
‘I just don’t know what to think anymore.’ She let him take her hands in his, his skin warm against hers.
‘If you wouldn’t have wanted to marry any of your exes, then you just weren’t suited. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have another relationship, or that you can’t trust someone else. It doesn’t mean that you can’t trust me.’
She took a deep breath and interlaced her fingers with his. It felt so right, them both standing there together, her hands in his.
‘And what if the next relationship you’re supposed to have is the one that’s meant to be?’
He was right. What if by not taking a chance on love again, she misses out entirely? ‘I don’t know.’
‘I can only promise you one thing and that is that I’ll do everything in my power to never let you down. We can take things slowly, see what happens or just we can stay friends.’ Josh ran his thumb up and down her forefinger.
She nodded. She wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him again, to feel his lips against hers, his arms around her, but could she? ‘I just don’t see how it could work. It’s not even as though I live anywhere near here.’
‘No, and I must admit that has worried me, but what if things do work? Then surely we’ll find a way. Long-distance relationships aren’t all that bad, anyway.’ He smiled.
‘Umm, it didn’t work out for you and your ex.’
‘Ah, no, but her choosing to travel wasn’t the reason we broke up. The reason was because we’d grown into different people.’
‘I know. Sorry.’ She closed her eyes. Should she jump? Should she trust him? Her heart was aching for her to choose to, but her head, on the other hand, still had that voice telling her she’d never be enough. She opened her eyes. Josh was right. All they could do was to try, and if she didn’t, she wouldn’t know what she was missing out on.
