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Sofie
“No.”
The word echoed around the room, hitting me in waves, timed to match the beat of my hurting heart.
As grateful as I was for Raxnor’s apology, I couldn’t let this go yet. The last couple of days trapped in this small shuttle with him had beenexcruciating. Every time I’d tried to talk to him, he’d shut me down. I needed more than an apology. I needed to understandwhyhe’d kept it a secret. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
He scowled and shook his head.
The big, stubborn grump!
“Friend okay?”Lila asked, interrupted from happy food thoughts.
“I’m fine,”I sent back to her. Or I would be if I could just get the big lug to talk, dammit.
I sat down his phone and stood. None of my recent reading had clarified anything further about Zaarn fated mates. It seemed they were “married” as soon as their tails changed color, but there was also some kind of special consummation sex. I didn’tthinkwe’d had that yet, but it was impossible to be sure. I needed a real explanation of what was going on, and I wanted my “husband” to provide it.
“This isn’t going to work if you keep hiding things! We’ve got to be able to communicate! I’m supposed to be the most important person in your life, but you didn’t even let me know I was your wife!” He took away all my choice in this situation without even asking. After being robbed of my free will by the lizards, that hurt so, so much. “I’m going to ask you again. Why didn’t you tell me we were married or mated or whatever you want to call it?”
“Because you were supposed to know the moment you met me!” he bellowed, his arms flung wide. “I shouldn’t have needed to say a thing!”
I sucked in a shocked inhale. My mouth dropped open, but for once in my life, I had no idea what to say.
“This isn’t about talking or not talking. This is something biological, something… innate. You’re supposed to feel me here.” His voice dropped to a rumble as he stepped close to brush my forehead with his fingers. “Your kron is supposed to turn purple and vibrate so that everyone canseeyou want me.” Then his hand dropped lifelessly to his side. “So thatIcan see you want me.”
The pain in his voice made my heart ache.
“All my life, no one’s ever wanted me. Not the females on my planet. Not even my parents, because a son meant the grief of banishment. I spent my entire childhood watching them dote on my sister while they barely tolerated me.”
“Oh, Raxnor,” I whispered, my heart breaking for him.
“And then you came along, my fated mate, and you didn’t want me either.”
The shock of his words made me sputter. We’d had sex on the “first date”! This was the first time in my life a guy had ever accused me of not falling fast enough. “You’re not being fair. Iclearlywanted you. I had sex with you! You’re the one who hid our connection!”
“Because you didn’tfeelit!”
“I’m sorry I’m not Zaarn!” I threw my hands wide. “I don’t have a tail to turn purple and vibrate. I don’t have the forehead thingy.”
Pain flared in his eyes, as if my words confirmed every one of his worries. He turned away, reaching for one of the tall lockers. Was he going to get a spacesuit and go out the airlock to get away from me too?
Oh,hellno. Mierda! This guy!
I grabbed his elbow and tugged until he spun around, his face a wall of stone. He’d sealed away all of his hurt again, allowing it to fester.
Nope! Not going to let this keep happening!
“The problem you’re having right now? I’ve had it my whole adult life. Hell!” I snorted. “I even had it as a teenager. I’d meet a boy, crush on him immediately, and he’d always get scared away.”
“You squeezed him?” Raxnor’s forehead wrinkled, then his eyes went hard, and he growled, “With what part of you? Did you let these males inside you?”
“Not that kind of crush, and wow, possessive much?”
“It is another part of Zaarn mating.” He thumped his chest with his fist. “Until the mate bond is complete, the mating pull will not let me be rational. Not where you and other males are concerned.”
Mating pull? Yet another piece of information not in any of the databases. Color me not surprised.
“We’re getting off track. What I’m trying to say is I understand how you feel. I’ve spent my entire romantic life”—his growl echoed through the air, but I kept going or we’dneverget through this—“feeling a lot more for the other person a lot more quickly than they ever felt for me. It sucks.”
