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“Good idea. I fucked up enough of your evening.” Jay stood and glanced at Ethan, who ignored him. He shook his head and came to put his hand on Anthony’s shoulder. “Thank you, brother.”
With Jay gone, Chris stood and turned to Ethan who also rose to his feet. “Please speak with him.”
“No.”
“It’s more complicated than you think.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Ethan placed his hands on Chris’s shoulders. “I asked you what was going on between you two. I gave you a chance to let me help. I would’ve—”
“I couldn’t tell you. I needed for his hate to die on its own.”
Ethan shook his head. “I don’t know how to handle your backward logic, but if you ever—fucking ever—hide something like that from me again, I’ll kill you. You hear me?”
“Yes, E.”
Ethan slumped back on the couch.
Chris walked over to Anthony. “Do you hate me?”
“No, and I’m sorry he made you do those things. I should’ve hit him as well.”
“Your punch would’ve put him in the hospital.”
Ethan snickered. “Jerk.”
Chris left, and Anthony remained with Ethan, who asked, “Do you want me to leave as well?”
“No. We need to talk.”
14
“I wanted to kill him,” Ethan said in the darkness of the bedroom. They lay naked under a shared blanket, a nice breeze flowing in through the half-open window.
“All those times we all got together, and he was making Chris do those...thingsbehind our backs. He swore to me that he was cool with him. Fucking liar.”
“He’s hurting,” Anthony said, finding it hard to defend Jay, yet feeling obligated considering Chris had somehow forgiven him.
“Don’t defend him. You know I’m not overreacting.”
“I’m not saying you are, but Chris asked you to speak with him, and I think you should.”
Ethan remained silent, but his heavy breathing made it clear he was still upset. Unfortunately, Anthony was about to upset him even more. If Ethan were to join them on Fire Island, he needed to hear what had happened all those months ago.
“I’m going to tell you some things,” Anthony said, weighing each word. “Promise to listen until I’m done. I didn’t want to ever tell you this, but it feels like I don’t have much choice.”
“Why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“I made a lot of mistakes, and I don’t think you’ll look at me the same once you hear them. But you should still know what happened.”
What I allowed to happen.
Ethan moved closer under the blanket. “Okay. I’m listening.”
*
Anthony was startled when Tobias showed up without a warning at his place of work. He hadn’t told Tobias the address, and they had yet to meet outside of The Gentlemen’s Club. In the last few weeks, the club had become like an alternative universe; a twisted fairyland that Anthony couldn’t stop gravitating toward.
Tobias stepped into the house wearing a polo shirt, the first time Anthony had seen him without a formal suit or simply naked. It made him seem less like a mythical creature who roamed the club at night.
