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“I don’t know. Maybe… Yes. That’s probably best, for now.”
“For now.” She said, “For now.”I’ll take that.
“I’m sorry.” I nod, before cupping her face in my hands and staring into her beautiful eyes. “I promise, I’ll stop making this harder on you.” I gently press my lips to her forehead and squeeze my eyes shut.
My heart aches, but I manage to step back, keeping my promise to walk away. “Goodbye, Willow,” I say, trying hard not to look at her so I don’t change my mind. She just needs more time. That's all, and I can wait. She’s worth the wait.
I make it safely to the rental car and start it up before I even have my seatbelt fastened. I’m back on the road within an hour of arriving, yet I feel like I just lost years of my life.
Pippa’s glaring at me when I pull up in Grovedale, but I have thirty seconds to spare, so I ignore her, checking my phone while I wait for her and the guys to jump in.
I honestly thought I’d end that conversation with Willow in my arms, making her mine, though I should have known better. My luck was never going to last forever, but God, this hurts.
As we drive to the airport, I think back to her questions about changing things, and wonder what would have happened if I’d given her a better answer. Told her what she wanted to hear, even if it was a lie.
Because I would have been lying. I meant every word I’d said. I wouldn’t change it.
She was fifteen when Jade died. She couldn’t have survived the truth, and that was made even more apparent by how she reacted in her twenties.
On top of that, if I had stayed by her side, told herandthe police what had happened, the rest of my night would have played out very differently, and I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I wouldn’t have broken free.
I wouldn’t be the man she loved.
Because Jade wasn’t the only person to die that day. And that second death was my savior.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Willow
AssoonasJessewalks away, I shut the door and break down in tears. Just like I did the last time I saw him, only this time I’m silent and he’s not here to comfort me.
I don’t want him here.
I pushed him away because it’s too much. I can’t handle it. Myheartcan’t handle it.
I’ve barely had time to think when Sara knocks on the door, forcing me to pull myself together.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” I rush out so she doesn’t come in, frantically wiping my face to hide the evidence of my feelings. Trying to hide the pain.
When I join her, Sara’s busying herself with some paperwork. Her eyes meet mine, but she doesn’t acknowledge what we both know is there. She knows I’d prefer to let it go.
“Do you want me to stay?” she asks, because she’s due to pick up Benji.
I shake my head. “No. I’m good. I promise. You head off and I’ll see you in the morning.”
It will make it easier for me to mope around for the rest of the day.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and let the sun warm my face, the picturesque view in front of me still at the forefront of my mind despite no longer looking at it. It’s hard to forget; it’s the reason we come up here. That, and the peace.
I hear Jade huff behind me and I can’t help but laugh.
“Tell me again why you decided to bring your bag with you? Are you hiding something in there?” I chuckle again until Jade’s face pales slightly.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing. I just brought some aspirin and extra water. I’ve had a headache since breakfast.”
