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He was broken. A little sliver of the pain that I caused him exposed to me for the first time. Real emotion.
It destroyed something in me at the same time that it fixed another part. I slumped back against the counter, suddenly exhausted.
“I can’t. A secret kept between two is a liability.”
“I am your mate.”
“Today. Yesterday, you kicked me out.” I met his eyes, flexing my jaw.
“I would never harm you, even if you choose to never see me again.”
I believed him, but if this secret came out, my pack would kill me.
NINE
DOMINIC
“Do you trust me?” Vin pressed.
I nodded slowly. I did. We’d done each other lots of harm in our back and forth, but he’d never taken it outside of us, nor had he gone to my pack, and he could have, easily.
“I went to the same priestess I used to eliminate your scent. She helped me.”
Anger pulled at his stone features, but he said nothing.
I returned to making breakfast, leaving him to process it.
“What do you mean, you used her?”
It amused me that he took the bait and wondered for even a moment exactly how I used a priestess to hide his scent from my pack. But his expression told me not to let him wonder for long.
“She’s a witch.” The head of their clan. “I buy a skin cleanser from her to hide your scent when we are together, and she makes me an elixir for the quickening to make sure none of it would take and I wouldn’t remember.” It was as easy and complicated as that.
“Excuse me?”
“What are you not understanding, Vinkettin? The priestess part, the witch part, the dead sperm part, or the blackout?” I didn’t want to go into detail about any of it. I didn’t remember any of it, and I wasn’t about to tell him what it cost me. I was ashamed of the things I did to be away from him.
His head dropped forward, and his hair fell into his face, but he didn’t speak.
The silence was deafening. The only thing worse than the scolding I knew was coming was this unbearable quiet.
“What? Say what you want to say. Tell me you regret being here. Tell me you’re ashamed of me. Just get it out. I’m not proud of it, but I couldn’t havenotdone it. The ritual is to ensure the pack survives. If the alpha doesn’t participate, there would be a lot of questions.” I was so tired of being judged for the ways I’d survived.
“I’m not any of those things.” His voice was low and sobering.
“What are you then?”
“I’m sad I wasn’t here to go through it with you.”
I stared at him, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. “It’s not your responsibility to be here for me.”
“Yes, it is, and I’ve failed you.” He collected me in a hug, holding me tight, and it eased some of the cracks I’d made in my soul by doing what I’d done.
My pack and my people might never forgive me if they found out, but Vin still loved me. Somehow, that made everything in my life a little more tolerable.
“And what of the next one?”
“I was going to do the same thing.” I shook my head, not sure I could bear to do it, knowing I was going home to bed with Vin.
