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Despite my life and, with it, my identity falling apart around me, I was happy. I didn’t know how to reconcile the two either. It felt wrong to wake up well-rested again, with a smile on my face, with the world falling at my feet.
I carried the weight of guilt.
It felt wrong to smile while people were suffering.
“People are dying in record numbers, Dom.” Raf’s intense eyes bore into me.
“You think I don’t know this, Rafael? I’d like to know how you think your comments are helpful.”
“Because I think your priorities are fucked up.” He licked over his teeth, and my wolf twitched.
He was asking for a fight, and I’d love to deny him, but I didn’t think my wolf would.
The wolf wanted it.
“And what do you think my priorities are if not to find and slit the throat of the bastard doing this?” I demanded.
If Raf was anyone but my brother, we’d be outside already.
“I think your priorities are for the fresh fuck, then getting all tucked into bed while your people are dying. Night after night, you indulge your own needs…” He trailed off, shaking his head.
I was on my feet and around the counter before a breath passed between us. I ripped him from his stool, dragging him to his feet in front of me. “I’ve been out as many nights as you have.”
“And the fact that you can climb into bed with the enemy after and sleep soundly? What does it say about you, Dominic?”
What did it say about me? My fingers tightened in the fabric of his shirt until it started to tear.
“I think it says mind your own fucking business. I don’t question the people you have in and out of your bedroom at all hours of the day and night. Or the designer drugs you’re popping between shifts.” I’d held the words back for so long, it felt good to bring them to the surface.
“You were fine with this a few weeks ago. What fucking changed?”
“You’ve changed.”
“I haven’t changed. I have always been this person. It’s not my fault you were blind to it before.” I wasn’t going to hide these parts of me to appear strong any longer.
“Is that why you picked her to be your second?” he spat, bringing the conversation back to his indiscretions.
“Of course that’s why I picked her. How the fuck can I rely on you to be my second when you’re blitzed out of your mind half the time?” I threw him back.
He stumbled, hitting the chair and landing on his ass with a crack. Raf sprang to his feet, hackles raised, teeth elongated. He fought the change, but he didn’t have the control I did.
I stood my ground in my human form, face to face with a seven-foot gray and black wolf. “You have no room to say a goddamn word to me,”he snarled, and though it wasn’t English, his meaning was clear enough. He came at me, and I braced, but he sprinted past me and out the door.
I righted the chair he’d knocked over and slumped into it.
If I didn't figure out who was killing my people soon, I'd be the next one dead. Not at the hands of the killer, but at the hands of my own pack.
“You don’t look so good.” Vin’s voice pulled me from the tangle of thoughts.
“I’m fine. I need a drink.” It was too early for a drink, but that wasn’t going to stop me.
“Wait…” I paused and turned around. “Why are you here so early? I thought you had a full day of meetings.”
“I did, but you’re not going to like what I found out.”
I stiffened and not in the way I usually did in reaction to Vin. “More bad news?” I couldn’t take much more.
“Why don’t you make us both a drink, and I won’t even complain about you pouring me that piss water you call whiskey.” There was a tenderness in his voice, and it terrified me. I wasn’t ready for this side of us. Even after weeks of ‘dating,’ transitioning to caretaking threw my brain.
