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Dark eyes, fathoms deep, studied him. “Apology accepted. I... your friends were very nice. They explained a lot about... um... well, that stuff to me.” Her eyes darted to the closed doors of her neighbors and he appreciated she was being as circumspect as he had been. Not that he expected anything less from her. “But I wish you had been the one to.”
Hope surged up inside him, nearly painful in its intensity. He jammed his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the dominant male in him which wanted to reach out and touch her, seduce her, bend her to his will. Maria was at least a little submissive, he didn’t doubt that anymore, and he was sure if he pressed now that they would end up in bed together tonight, but that wasn’t how he wanted her. Free choice and logical thought, not lust and impulse... because he wanted more than just a night, he wanted a relationship.
“Would... you like to go out some other time? Not to Stronghold,” he added hastily, seeing the apprehensive expression that flitted across her face. “Just for coffee or something.”
Not even a real date, although he might have tried for that if her reaction hadn’t been so immediate and clear. Her forehead wrinkled as she sucked in her cheeks, obviously thinking. Part of him wanted to take back his words and tell her not to worry about it, but another, more hopeful, part insisted he stay quiet and let her figure out her answer for herself.
“I’m not sure,” she said finally, hesitantly. “Um... maybe? I just... I need some time to think.”
Rick felt his expression harden, hiding his disappointment. He nodded. “I understand. Thank you for coming tonight. Again, I’m sorry about... well everything.”
“Thanks,” she said, giving him a little smile before slipping into her apartment. The door closed behind her, but he caught one last glimpse of her thoughtful expression before it shut.
Damn.
10
Standing on the stairwell of her apartment building, Maria watched as Rick swam his morning laps. It was a good thing her apartment didn’t face the pool or she probably would have spent all morning watching him. As it was, she’d been standing in the same place, staring at the pool, for at least five minutes. Thankfully, no one had walked by to see her imitation of a statue.
This morning she’d woken up, ready to go to the pool and meet up with Rick as usual. But once she’d gotten to the stairs and been able to look across to where the pool was, and seen his powerful body plowing through the water, she’d been assailed by doubts. What would they say to each other? Would he take her presence as a declaration that she was interested in what he’d shown her last night?
And had she really stopped being upset with him?
His apology at her door last night had been completely sincere, she had no doubt of that. The hangdog look, the guilt, had been all over his face and in his body language, so she’d almost wanted to reach out and give him a hug and reassure him everything was all right. But it wasn’t, entirely, was it?
Chewing on her lower lip, Maria shifted her bag to her other shoulder. Even though it only had her towel, sunscreen and pool stuff in it, it got heavy after a while of just standing there.
She liked Rick. She really did. A lot. Spending time with him at the pool was fun. Talking to him had become an integral part of her day. She liked hearing about his friends, telling him about her family, and just talking about the small stupid stuff while they flirted and tried to make each other laugh. She believed he liked her and wanted more from her than just a one-night stand. So that was something. But last night she’d put a lot of trust in him, going to a completely unknown place with a guy she’d really only known for a little less than a month, and she felt like he’d broken her trust. Not because he’d taken her to Stronghold. Heck, some parts of the night she’d really liked. Meeting his friends, seeing the private upstairs rooms... but she was still having trouble wrapping her head around the scene in the Dungeon.
More than that, she was still kind of mad he hadn’t explained more about Stronghold to her once they’d gotten there. A million other questions had been raised off of that.
Could she trust him in the future?
Did she want to get kinky with him? Or even at all?
Was she actually going to date a guy who wanted to take her to a club where she might have to strip down in front of a bunch of other people? Maria made a face. No one had mentioned whether or not Rick was an exhibitionist, and Maria had forgotten to ask.
Being the eldest of four sisters, she knew very well every single woman, no matter her shape or size, had something they didn’t like about their body. Every woman had crushes on guys who weren’t attracted to them, dated guys who turned out to be jerks, and had to put up with snide and nasty comments from other girls. Heck, Lara, who was drop-dead gorgeous, once had a boyfriend who tried to get her to lose weight she didn’t even have to lose. So Maria knew, first hand, that being slim and stunning did not mean a reprieve from body issues. She’d found her own confidence in that knowledge. There would always be things she wanted to change about herself, so she might as well just love herself the way she was.
But that didn’t mean she necessarily wanted to get nekkid in a room full of people she didn’t know, while they watched her get it on. She’d never had exhibitionist tendencies. Although, Rick hadn’t actually said he did either and he had pointed out the curtains at the private rooms.
For that matter, none of his friends had used the rooms or been down in the Dungeon. They’d all just hung out at the bar. Maybe Stronghold was just their hangout place? Except Olivia had talked about all of them doing scenes there before they’d met their current girlfriends.
Yeah, there was a lot of information Rick had left out. She scowled at the swimming figure in the distance, her lips tightening.
Of course, she doubted it would have been easy to bring up. Just look at the fact that she hadn’t told a single one of her sisters about Rick’s kink. Even Jackie who obviously would have been the most understanding. Hell, she doubted she’d be able to tell any of them about Stronghold.
Bah.
She didn’t even know what she would say if she went over to the pool. Be mad? Ha, like they could talk about why with all those other people around. Act like everything was normal? Yeah... she didn’t think she could do that either. They’d crossed some kind of threshold last night, some boundary line that, once crossed, couldn’t be put back in place. It was like when friends had sex, except they hadn’t even got to do that.
Turning on her heel, Maria started back up the stairs. Today was not the day to face Rick. She still had a lot of thinking to do, obviously. Just anticipating it had made her realize when she did face him, she needed to have more of an answer for him than ‘I’m still thinking things over’ and then try to act like nothing had changed between them. They could go forward or not, but they definitely couldn’t go back.
Plus, she could get on her computer and do some research. Educate herself. And then eradicate her search history.
Coming up out of the water, Rick looked around and felt a familiar pang of disappointment when he saw Maria still wasn’t there. Not that he was really expecting her. Just hoping. Idiot that he was. Why the hell would she want to come out and see him today?
Gritting his teeth, he dove back under the surface of the pool, letting the muted noise and cool water envelope him, taking him into another world. With every stroke he thought about Maria. He’d spent the last forty-five minutes castigating himself with every mistake he’d made last night. Flaying himself with the memory of every sign she’d shown of being submissive, that he’d brushed off, every time she’d leaned into his hand for support, every stuttered breath when he’d pressed himself against her.
