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Ugh. She needed to stop thinking about this. Especially because tonight was so not about her. Tonight was about celebrating Lexie’s brother’s return home. Lexie’s incredibly hot brother who unfortunately did nothing for her.
Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. He was too sexy and confident to have no effect on her, but she’d already decided to swear off guys. In the two months since she and Michael had broken up, she’d had a one-night stand, had a long-distance booty call with a guy she’d had a massive crush on in college but had never pursued because of Michael, and then tried actually dating. The dating thing hadn’t gone so well. The guy, Brad, had been perfectly nice, but after three dates he’d already started asking her about her plans for the spring.
So not what she was looking for. She wasn’t over Michael yet and Brad had obviously wanted to get serious really quickly. Although, she’d gotten the impression he would have wanted that with any girl he went out with... he was just that kind of guy. Sweet, nice, and kind of desperate. It didn’t make her feel special that he had been so eager, it had made her feel interchangeable. They didn’t know each other well enough for him to know he’d want to go on a trip in the spring with her, which meant any girl would do.
After the appreciative look Jake had given her when Lexie introduced him, she’d felt a spark of interest, but not enough for her to want to pursue it. Not enough for her to break her unvoiced conviction to stay away from men for a while. Which, right now, was not so easy.
Not just Jake, although he’d searched her out to “get to know her better” in between conversations with his friends. The welcome home party was also Stronghold’s Halloween Masquerade, which meant there were sexy, alpha men aplenty, all around the main floor of the club. It also meant they weren’t confining their interest to the subs gathered in the Lounge area; during the Theme Nights, no one stayed in their usual areas which meant there was a lot more open flirting going on. She’d actually seen one sub being dragged off downstairs to be punished for “daring” to blatantly flirt with a Dom - by the Dom she’d been flirting with. Not that the sub had looked upset about her upcoming discipline, she’d looked thrilled.
Yeah, something else to feel a bit envious over.
Leigh had never been spanked before. She’d never done any of the kinky BDSM stuff. But she’d started reading about it and... well, let’s just say, she’d spent more money on her e-reader books in the past few months than in the entire time she’d owned it. Not that she was brave enough to mention her interest to anyone. Just coming to the club and sitting in the bar with Angel and her friends was the limit of Leigh’s courage. Even when the Doms came over and talked to her, she just clammed right up, too scared to give them any encouragement. What if they invited her downstairs? Or upstairs? What if they wanted to spank her?
What if she liked it?
Not thoughts she should be having. Not with Michael calling her every other day and her still picking up the phone. Being her friend. That’s what he called it, although he got kind of nasty whenever she talked about any other men. They talked sometimes in the evenings and she’d learned not to say anything about other guys, after telling him about her one night stand… but she’d sat quietly through his own complaints about his lack of knowledge when it came to pursuing other women. It always stirred her jealousy, but it also made her feel a kind of vindictive satisfaction. In the entire time they’d been broken up, Michael hadn’t gone on a single date, hadn’t kissed another woman.
So there, asshole. There were plenty of guys who wanted her. Heck, half the reason Brad had appealed to her had been how badly he’d wanted her. She’d just felt bad because she hadn’t wanted him back. Not like that.
Scanning the room, she took another sip of her drink, her eyes passing over the playful couples, the flirting singles, and the groups of friends. For a moment it felt like her eyes tripped, and then she moved them back again.
Standing against the far wall, in between the rooms to the women’s and men’s locker rooms, was a pirate. A really, really, really big pirate. He was huge, with big muscles and shortly-cropped hair less than a centimeter long. The darkness of his skin and the black pants and shirt he was wearing, along with the black hat, made him practically blend into the wall. No wonder it felt like her eyes had tripped. Like her, he looked like he was scanning the room, but unlike her, he didn’t even bother to look like he was trying to participate in the festivities.
Jared.
That was his name. The only person in the Stronghold group whom she hadn’t met yet, although Angel had told her all about him and pointed him out when they’d finally arrived. The one who had recently gone through a break-up with his long-term, on-again-off-again girlfriend. That relationship had sounded even more tumultuous than her own.
She was moving before she even thought about it, drawn to the only other person in the room who might possibly have a clue what it was like to be so lonely in such a large crowd of wonderful people.
There was an angel walking towards him.
Literally, dressed in an angel costume. Although, even out of the costume, he might have had the same thought. She was beautiful in an almost unassuming way, gorgeous as only a sweet girl-next-door could be, and somehow managed to give off the impression that she was completely unaware of how she looked. The white corset, with its surprisingly modest neckline, white skirt, tights, heels and fluffy wings didn’t do a whole lot to counteract the innocent thing.
He’d seen her, of course, weaving in and out of the other people at the club. Seen more than one Dom approach her, only to be turned away after a few minutes. Other than that, he hadn’t paid much attention, it was just that she stood out, in all that white. Even though it was Halloween, she was, surprisingly, the only angel in the club. She was also showing the least skin of any of the women in the club.
When it became clear she wasn’t just walking towards him, she was walking to him, all of his muscles tensed.
The theme nights were good business for the club. Most of the members loved the chance to dress up and be at the club for an “event.” It promoted a casual atmosphere where the Doms and subs could interact with less formality and get to know each other a little better outside of a scene. Plus, it made Lexie thrilled, which made Patrick happy.
But they were also a pain in the ass for someone like him - a single Dom who wasn’t looking to get to know any of the subs better.
His break-up with Marissa still made him feel like he was battered and bruised, inside and out. Years. He’d invested years into their relationship, only to have it come out to nothing. When he’d told her that he wanted to break up, she’d accused him of cheating on her. Neglecting her. Treating her like unwanted baggage.
The worst part was, some of it was true. Not the cheating part, never that, at least not sexually, but... he did like cuddling and soothing an upset sub. He provided aftercare for a few of the submissives who either played with Doms who didn’t like doing aftercare or who preferred to have aftercare from a different Dom than they’d scened with, for one reason or another. Being needed like that was something he himself needed. So no, he hadn’t cheated on Marissa, but he’d been getting emotional satisfaction outside of their relationship. Yes, that was because she’d been gone so often, but... the idea of her finding that kind of satisfaction with another man had made him sick. Not that Marissa had ever required much aftercare, but that was no excuse.
The accusations about neglecting her and treating her like unwanted baggage were true too. In fact, that was why he’d broken up with her. Because he knew he wasn’t treating her the way he should treat his girlfriend, much less his submissive. He avoided her calls, procrastinated on returning her texts and emails, and felt happier when she wasn’t at home, even though he thought she should be at home if they were going to make their relationship work. But he should have broken up with her weeks before he had, instead of dragging it out and making both of them even more miserable.
Her tearful, justifiable accusations had lodged in his head, and he couldn’t get them out. There was no way he wanted to do anything intimate with another woman right now, not when his head was all fucked up and he still wasn’t sure where he’d gone wrong or when he’d turned into such a passive asshole. The closest he’d gotten had been when Patrick had asked him to do a scene with a sweet little sub named Eileen. She’d just needed some confidence in herself and the scene hadn’t had any sexual contact. In fact, he’d introduced her to another Dom right afterwards, and they were now seeing each other both inside and outside of the club. That had given him a lot of satisfaction.
Unfortunately, the theme night meant a lot of the subs felt more comfortable flirting with the Doms, not just talking to him. He’d already chased off several, as nicely as he could, and he was starting to lose patience with it. What about leaning against the wall, in the shadows, as far on the edges of people as he could get, said “Come talk to me?” The last submissive, Christy, whom he’d taken care of after an incident with her ex-boyfriend at the club, had been particularly stubborn, and he’d had to get a little mean in order for her to get the hint. Which had resulted in her walking away, tears in her eyes, while he stood there and felt like an even bigger piece of shit.
This was why he didn’t talk to people.
“Hi,” said the angel, smiling up at him when she finally reached him. She was holding her drink in one hand, the other one stirring the ice with a little straw. Nervous, obviously. He didn’t smile back. Hopefully she’d get the hint. “So, what are you, the club wallflower?”
It actually took an effort not to smile, just a little. Who, other than Hilary, used terms like ‘wallflower’ anymore? But smiling was encouragement, and he didn’t want another tearful sub on his account tonight. In fact, as soon as he got rid of the little angel, he was leaving, period. He’d said hi to Jake, and there was no way to have a real conversation with the man tonight. There were too many other people here, all wanting to talk to him.
Too impatient to be nice or subtle, he went with the stark truth.
