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He gazed at me, his brows tight, and I tried to press the earnestness of my last statement into him. I wanted him tofeelit.
“In your life before this one, Morrigan and I were raised together in the castle by Prince Lugh and the castle attendants,” Dagda said. “Our lives gravitated around each other. You were wild, beautiful, determined. My whole life, you were there, until you were gone, and the thought of the years spanning on without you…” His fingers tightened in a fist around the heartstone. “I do not know if you are a good person. But I can sense the guilt inside you, eating at you almost constantly. Which tells me one thing. That youcare.” His eyes bored into mine and I felt myself falling, falling into that vastness that was both ancient and gentle. A dark sea of blackness ready to take whatever I gave him and swallow it in the infinite expanse. “I will not add to that by hating you. I cannot hate you. You are woven into my very being.”
I swallowed, my heart twisting. “Illya said that should me and my sisters split at the bog, they might look just like me.”
“Our bond is strong. I’ll always be able to tell who you are.” He set the heartstone on the blanket. “I bid you goodnight.”
He moved to the door. A burning started behind my eyes as I stared at the stone on the bed, as his words lodged somewhere in my soul, and I didn’t know if it was his feelings or mine that led me to my response.
“Dagda,” I murmured.
He paused and turned back.
“I’m sorry she hurt you.”
Emotion flashed in his eyes. “Thank you, Chels.”
Chapter 25
Severaldayslater,Badbawoke in Morrigan’s bed. Less than a week until Samhain. So close to total freedom.
She and Macha no longer needed to be sparked to take over. Whoever claimed the position with enough willpower was in control. Sometimes it was her and sometimes it was Morrigan. Sometimes Badb let Macha out just to ensure her loyalty.
Roisin bustled about the room. Badb watched her closely. Was she unaware that Morrigan wasn’t in control? The past couple of days had been like this. If Badb and Macha pretended to be Morrigan, most people were unable to tell the difference. Although, she suspected Roisin knew more often than she let on.
The faerie king, however, always knew.
Badb gritted her teeth. She didn’t like how often Morrigan gained the upper hand. If her will was this strong, it meant her job was far from finished. And Dagda. If Badb was going to rule; if she wanted to continue her game of deception after she defeated Morrigan at the bog, she had to break his ability to discern who took over.
The night that he and the faerie queen had gotten close in the bedroom, Badb and Macha had been completely shoved out. She didn’t even know if Morrigan and Dagda realized it, but it worried her. Even a moment of being forced to return to the obscure darkness of her captivity, where she’d been held in silence for all those years, was unbearable.
She needed to shatter their oncemate bond. Or at least weaken it to where he no longer sensed who was in control. A smile crept over her face. And it might just serve to break Morrigan as well.
Tugging back the covers, Badb climbed out of the bed, ate some of the food set out before her, and allowed Roisin to dress her, throwing a kind word in here and there. Not too much. The faerie queen wasn’t overly nice, but Morrigan also didn’t see Roisin as a mere servant either, so Badb tried to reflect that in their exchange. She would much rather have snapped the faerie woman’s neck and watched as permanent paralysis set in. But the increased scrutiny and restricted mobility that resulted from her actions would detract from the more important goal.
Badb needed to go for the heart.
“Dagda was in late last night.” Roisin wiggled her eyebrows.
“Was he?” She pretended to be excited even as her stomach sank.
“Hid something about the room.”
Badb held in a sigh. Dagda had introduced that silly heartstone. Over the last several days, they’d turned it into a kind of game, passing it back and forth, hiding it in different locations when the other was asleep or not present—although the guards always kept a sharp eye on Morrigan when she entered Dagda’s room. It made Badb suspicious, but there was nothing she could do. The heartstone was part of Dagda and Morrigan’s bond, and so Badb and Macha were barred from seeing whatever Morrigan placed inside. But what could Morrigan really plot? Ornan had bound her from communicating anything about their plans or the future. No, it was probably just some lover’s game to distract themselves.
Either way, Badb despised it.
She rose and placed a smile on her face as she began her search. Methodically, she moved through the room, discounting the places the faerie king had hidden it already. She reached behind the armoire and pulled the heartstone out, wishing to smash it to the floor.
“Well done. I believe that was the quickest you have found it yet,” Roisin praised.
Badb set the stone necklace on the bed. “What is on the agenda for today?”
“The queen and Dagda are to hold court.”
Morrigan stirred at that. She didn’t want Badb sitting in on the court.
If you are good, faerie queen, I shall let you loose sooner rather than later,Badb crooned.Macha, keep her from getting too riled.
