AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Sensing my concern, he leaned forward and kissed me, deep and fierce. “Thank you, Chels. That was… everything.” He traced the chain that held the hearthstone at my throat, releasing a low chuckle. “I apologize for my impatience. It has been so long that I lost my head a little. Next time, I swear, I shall wait till we are both undressed.”
The triumph inside my chest turned sour as I remembered what was to come. There would be no next time. He was going hate me.
Maybe none of that mattered because there was nothing I could do to fix it. Fix myself. Fix the Otherworld ending in a violent death. Fix the fact that in two days, Dagda would never look at me this way again.
He froze. His own clothes held a disheveled quality to them, his tunic half pulled from his belt, though his hair didn’t appear as obvious as mine did that something beyond talking had occurred behind the closed doors of the throne room.
“What is it?” His eyes filled with curiosity. “I sense it again. The guilt, the uncertainty. The… futility.”
I looked away toward the steps leading to our thrones. My fingers toyed with a loose strand of hair as I stewed over my answer. What Icouldsay outside of Ornan’s deal forbidding me from telling Dagda anything outright.
“There’s no guarantee that if I go into that bog that everything will turn out the way we want them to.”
He brushed my cheek with a knuckle, and I turned to glance at him. Passion blazed there. “You will do it. I know it,” he said.
I trembled under his gaze. Under his utter certainty. “You have so much faith in me. I’m not—I’m not the person you think I am.”
He again caressed my cheek. “You think I look at you and keep seeing someone from the past. But what you did today, Chels, that wasn’t some distant memory. That wasyou. You took on your sisters. You exposed Badb’s plan and those willing to ally with her. You’ve managed to reveal the schemes of both Tadhg and Niall, and in so doing, you’ve changed the power dynamics of the court into something manageable, all the while avoiding war. You are remarkable.”
His words stung, and my eyes burned. I twisted away in a ruffle of skirts, turning my back on him. “No, I’m not.”
“You have a past filled with regrets,” he said softly. “But you are not the only one. You can move past it. You can be worthy of your triumphs… of trust… of love.”
I kept my back to him. I bit my lip, thinking of everything that was to come. Thinking about Ornan and Badb and the coming destruction—of Dagda with the sword protruding from his chest. Of my hands stained in blood, until the hollowness came, until I infused it with an iciness that came through the bond, that would be believable in my voice.
A bitter anger at the future I wasn’t able to change. “Just because you loved her doesn’t mean you know me. Stop pretending you do.”
He was quiet, but I felt the hurt from him. It pierced the cold indifference I tried so hard to maintain.
“But you do enjoy it. Being Queen?”
I tensed. Despite how much I fought it, how much I pretended every aspect of being queen was some sort of unexplained burden, serving the faeries felt natural and right. I could be honest with Dagda about this one thing.
“Yes,” I said quietly.
There was a long pause. “But you do not want to be with me.” A brittleness coated his voice.
The future was set. He professed love now but in two days, it would all be burned to nothing, used up and spread like ashes in the wind. There was no escape. I fought to keep the icy coldness alive.
“How can you want to be with someone when you’ve never had a choice?”
I might as well have rammed a knife into his chest. The air rushed from him and he jerked to his feet. I stared at the marble steps leading to our thrones, but I felt him, sensed something breaking between us. Heard his footsteps as he walked away from me. Heard the soft whoosh as he drew the throne room door open.
“Forgive me,” he said at last. “For making you feel as though you are trapped here with me.”
I didn’t move, didn’t look, my teeth biting down on my tongue so hard I tasted blood.
And then he was gone, the door sliding shut behind him.
Chapter 29
The heartstone lay in the palm of my hand, and I stared at the ridged ebony face, fighting to hold back the ache building inside. I dropped it onto my chest and returned my gaze to the throne room steps, trying to convince myself it didn’t matter.
In a couple of days, I’d go to the bog, fail, and escape through a portal, returning to the human world. My attempts to stop what was to come had failed.
But, it was what I always wanted. My dreams of living a normal human life resurrected. I’d return to college and swim competitions, to my casual hookups with Mark, to my family and friends.
At least they knew what I was capable of—better to leave before I saw the disappointment, the betrayal I caused here. Badb had been right about one thing. I destroyed relationships. She didn’t need to see a vision, and neither did I, to know that my future was to end up alone.
