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“It was a very trying time for him, your majesty. I daresay he probably didn’t want to put forth such a traumatizing memory without being able to remark on it.” Roisin blinked back watery eyes. She reached into the closet and chose a gown with long sleeves. “This will keep you warmer for traveling. And you can get in and out of it on your own. I shall pack a few other dresses similar to it.”
I let her dress me. Dagda was a hero. The true hero of the Otherworld. He had given everything, risked everything for it and for Morrigan. For me. I clenched my teeth to stop the ache in my throat. And who was I? What was I willing to give up for the Otherworld? For him? Nothing. I shut my eyes. I didn’t deserve his love. Didn’t deserve him.
My heart was tearing. Was leaving the Otherworld the right option? What other choice did I have? If I didn’t confront the bog witch, Badb and Macha consumed me. Trying to face my sisters would only lead to failure. Once we split, they could probably kill me. Nausea gripped my stomach. I wasn’t capable of defeating them. I wasn’t sure if I was even much better than them.
Roisin brushed out my dress. “You are ready, your majesty.”
“Put the chains on,” I said.
Her face became grim, and we both turned to Palon, who still stood silent in the corner. He nodded and gathered the shackles in his hands and attached them to my wrists. “Only you get to decide when these come off,” I said to him. “And I’m riding with you today.”
He exchanged a glance with Roisin. I brushed past them. We left the room, and they trailed down the hall behind me as we made our way through the castle and out into the gray morning.
Guards dressed in faerie armor filled the yard, and pegasi stamped their hooved feet onto the cobblestone. Dagda stood among the throng with Keelin, next to their own winged horses. Relief filled me at the sight of Dagda’s faerie knight, although he moved with a new tenderness.
Dagda stared at me, his face a mask, his eyes flashing with an emotion I no longer easily discerned. I swallowed past the soreness in my throat and turned away.
I stepped closer to Palon. “Should we take this pegasus?” I pointed to one of two pegasi nearby that a guard held by the reins.
Palon shuffled his feet. His gaze shot between me and Dagda. “Your Majesty—”
“Make a decision, Palon. Are you my faerie knight, or Dagda’s soldier?”
He pressed his lips, then climbed onto the pegasus, offering me his hand. I took it and he pulled me up. We both looked to Dagda, but he had turned away and mounted his own pegasus that flapped its majestic wings.
I strapped my legs to the saddle, the metal cuffs on my wrists knocking annoyingly. Then sat still as Palon’s arms came around me. He gripped my chains and threaded them through a loop on the pegasus’s saddle, pulling them tight. He picked up the reins. A small bit of nerves twisted in my stomach.
“How often have you flown one of these, Palon?” He was, after all, from my world, where pegasi didn’t exist.
“I’ve ridden them a few times.”
I tried to determine how many “a few” meant and whether I should be relieved or concerned.
“Pegasi are fast,” he added. “They will get us to our destination in only a day and a half. If we were on a regular horseback, it would take almost three days.”
Dagda jerked on the reins of his pegasus, moving it so he was at the front of the procession. All eyes turned to him.
“We head for the Bog of the Witch. It is outside faerie lands, so be on your guard. The queen rides protected.”
And with that, he turned and cantered across the cobblestone. The white feathered wings of the flying horse lifted him off the ground. We entered the line of those taking flight. The long wings on our pegasus expanded and its head tossed in anticipation. When it was our turn, a slight jolt rocked us as we caught air and rose toward the clouds.
Roisin stared at us from below as we soared upward. I frowned, wishing I had said something nice before I ruined her entire world.
I forced myself to face forward to what was to come. We ascended out over the city; the buildings packed together, the streets already bustling with faeries and other creatures. A few looked our way as we passed overhead, crossing the outer wall with the Royal Guard standing as sentinels.
The guards formed a diamond formation around us. Dagda flew to my right, a little ahead. He avoided looking at me. I sensed nothing from him emotionally. It was strange how I had become used to knowing how he felt all the time. A hole gaped inside me, an abyss where something had once been filled. I hadn’t even known it was there.
Until it was gone.
After Roisin’s explanation, I knew I could no longer blame him for what happened with Niamh. Whatever took place in the bog was all on me.
And yet, one thing whispered in my mind.
What if I chose differently?
Instead of walking through that portal, what if I stayed?
The answer was there. So simple though fear ripped through me at the very thought. Of the idea of laying my life on the line. As if after my total failure, my staying might do anything other than put me at the mercy of my sisters.
