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He frowned, his senses prodding him hard once more. But her lips were parting, and, because he craved further insight into this woman, he once again ignored the sensation.
She raised her gaze and for the next age her eyes caught his. Held and held. Until something sharp and demanding tightened in his chest. Then spiderwebbed throughout his body, unfurling agitation and need until Alessio couldn’t remember whether he was breathing in or out. Whether his preference was to drown in her eyes or die between her thighs.
Her sudden laughter drew another inward frown.
The sound was off. Fake.
‘It’s really not a big deal.’
His fingers dug a little deeper into her tense muscles and his senses leapt with pleasure and satisfaction when she leaned into him. ‘Your obvious distress tells a different story.’
Delicate eyelids descended but before he could ask her to look at him, she raised them again. ‘I think you heard most of what it was all about. She’s been disappointed in my life choices for as long as I can remember. Everything I do seems...to rub her the wrong way. Including the fact that I might be stuck in another country for the holidays. She’s not thrilled about the fact that I’m breaking with tradition.’
Again Alessio sensed she was withholding something, not giving him the whole picture, and while it frustrated him at least she’d answered. ‘You spend every Christmas with her?’
She nodded. ‘Although we spend it locked in one disagreement or the other. I’ve stopped trying to work out why she wants me around when it’s obvious we don’t get along.’
‘Then maybe you shouldn’t. Just accept that some families thrive on heightened emotions and decide whether that’s the way you want it to be with yours.’
She blinked at him. ‘Even though it makes us both emotionally dysfunctional?’
‘The ideal of a perfect family is a myth,duci. Consider whether, if you did everything she wanted, you would find fulfilment within yourself without feeling like you’ve sold out.’
Shadows appeared again. ‘I probably would,’ she murmured. ‘But I’d like to think there’s a world where we can strike a balance between the two.’
He tucked his thumbs beneath her chin and tilted her face up to his. The powerful urge to kiss her distress away struck again. He barely managed to suppress the need. ‘You already know where the balance is. You’re distressed becauseshedoesn’t accept it. But I’m also thinking you might be relieved to be apart from her this year?’
Her nostrils fluttered as she inhaled sharply. ‘I don’t... I can’t... I feel like a terrible person, but yes.’
‘Don’t punish yourself too severely. You might be surprised how withholding can focus a person’s true goals. It might even push her to behave herself next Christmas.’
‘And if she doesn’t?’
‘Then you’ll have this experience of what it’s like to spend your holidays without her.’
She stared at him as if she wanted to argue, but beneath his fingers Alessio felt her muscles soften, the few layers of tension leaving her body.
A second later she stiffened again. ‘Did you just attempt tofixmy mummy issues?’ She laughed a little forcefully.
There was that switch again.
Alessio frowned inwardly, the prickling in his brain growing more insistent. The dichotomy that had grated at first was now insistently pointing in a direction he needed to heed.
Because it was almost as if in certain moments she was...acting. Putting on an inauthentic persona. Like...displaying overt sexuality then a curiously shy innocence? Like...curves and a voracious appetite where there used to be obsessive diet-watching? Like...looking a little lost in his wine cellar and being reluctant to drink when he’d seen her knock back several glasses of alcohol without blinking?
And even with the wine...
Alessio breathed through the gut punch as another memory slotted into place and the dominos started to fall, astonished that he managed to control himself before blurting out the demand. He was pleased for that restraint.
‘Alessio?’
She was intelligent enough to sense the change in the room. Her beautiful eyes had grown wide and wary.
‘It’s easy to see the woods for the trees from a distance.’ And as he said the words Alessio knew they were meant for him too. He was better off viewing what he suspected from a sensible distance too. He needed to be sure, to give a benefit of the doubt because...
Because if he was right...
The depth of betrayal and disappointment churning in his chest made him suck in a slow breath.
