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I brought my thumb up to my mouth and started to bite on the nail. “Mad upset?”
“I don’t think so, but Nick said he must have really liked you to have done the deed with you.”
“Please. We were both caught up in the moment.”
“What was it like? The sex?”
My cheeks heated. “Seriously, the best I’ve ever had.”
Loren screamed. “Shut up! Was he a gentleman?”
“He was.”
“And?” she prompted.
“I’m not kissing and telling.”
Loren huffed. “Bitch, please. How many times did you come?”
Laughing, I shook my head. “Let’s just say he made sure to take care of me first, multiple times. Oh, and he’s a dirty talker.”
She fell into a fit of giggles. “No way! Like how dirty? Like get on my face and ride me until you cream all over my—”
“Oh my God! Stop talking! He wasn’t that dirty.”
Loren laughed.
“He was also very sweet and gentle. It was a nice combination of the two.
“I figured he would. Like I said, he’s a nice guy. I think the two of you would be perfect for one another.”
Exhaling, I felt a strange sense of sadness wash over me. “Well, it was only ever going to be the one night since we don’t even live in the same zip code. I will say, I think he’s ruined me for all other men.”
“It makes me sad you won’t even think about opening your heart to someone, Rose. One bad apple…”
“Ruins the whole bushel.”
“Bullshit. You’re just scared to put yourself out there. I get that it can be scary to take that risk with a guy like Bryson, but I think he’d be worth it.”
I shook my head even though I knew she couldn’t see me. “It was one night, Loren. That’s it. One amazing, pleasure-filled night.”
“Rose, you know not all guys are jerks.”
“I know that. And it’s par for the course that I would meet the one guy I could honestly let myself fall for, and he’s totally out of reach.”
“He’s not, though,” Loren softly replied.
“My life is here in Montana, Loren. I’m not like you. I don’t enjoy the parties and the functions and the limelight. I don’t want to see pictures of me on the Internet. I like sitting on my sofa in old sweats with popcorn while I watch a movie I’ve seen a dozen times before. I don’t want to share someone with millions of other people, and maybe that makes me a bitch, but that’s how I feel. I’m already terrified of another guy breaking my heart, and Bryson Robinson could very well break it, if not shatter it.”
“But Bryson—”
“Is a pitcher for a Major League Baseball team. From what I’ve read, he’s one of the best.”
“The best.”
Laughing, I replied, “You work for the team, so you’re biased.”
“No, I’m not. He really is. He’s one of the best. His stats speak for themselves. That’s all besides the point. He asked me for your number before they left for Boston, and I said I would ask you if I could pass it along.”
My heart screamed for me to tell her to give it to him. But my head, the part I always listened to, said no. It was one beautiful night to remember, and I was going to leave it at that.
“No,” I whispered.
“What?” Loren replied. Clearly, she had expected me to say yes. “Why in the hell not?”
“It was one night, Loren. A night I’ll remember for the rest of my life. But that’s all. What good would it do for me to talk to him on the phone? All it would lead to is me wishing for a man I couldn’t have.”
“You do know that there are tons of MLB players who are married. They even have kids!”
“I don’t want that type of relationship, Loren. Please respect that I’m asking you to drop it.”
She sucked in a breath. “That’s why you ran. You felt something for him, Rose.”
I wanted to argue with her and tell her she was wrong, but I knew better. I’d known Loren since we were six. She knew about Kyle. The one guy I had fallen hard for who ended up destroying my heart and trust in men. She’d known about the few guys I’d hooked up with, and she knew why I wasn’t willing to give my heart to anyone. Not right now, at least. I was young and starting a career. I had plenty of time. Plus, how can I start a relationship with someone when I’m so lost with what I want in my own life? The last thing I needed was to lose my heart as well.
Closing my eyes, I fought the urge to sigh. But with Bryson, it had all been different. The feelings I had felt with him were nothing I had ever experienced before, not even with Kyle. One could argue I had been too young and naïve, and what I had thought was love at the time was nothing more than a crush. Yes, running from Bryson might have made me a coward, but I knew I wouldn’t have been able to look him in the eyes and say goodbye. Loren was dead-on. I felt something, something very powerful. And that terrified me.
