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“I know, baby. It was wrong. It wasn’t fair to you or your people,” Luka cooed.
“But…what if…what if I could have made a difference? What if I’d gone to help the warriors instead of hiding in the damn cave? Would some of them have made it?” His words wobbled off his tongue and both sets of arms squeezed him tighter.
“You can’t let yourself think like that, Amaru. You’ll drive yourself crazy,” Vasily gently chastised. “Both Luka and I fought in the Dragon War. We lost countless brothers and sisters and scores of mages. Family we still miss to this day. I’ve replayed so many of those battles in my head, wondering if I had just been stronger or faster, maybe they would have lived.”
“That’s not what they would have wanted.” Luka cupped Amaru’s cheek and tipped his head up, forcing him to meet ice blue eyes. “They all fought and died so you could live. Our dragon and mage family fought so we could live. You honor their sacrifice by living the best life you can.”
His brain knew they were talking sense. A lot more than what was coming out of his mouth. Yet his heart wasn’t ready to hear it. Everything hurt too much.
“Why don’t you come back to bed with us?” Vasily murmured.
“Will you hold me?” Amaru whispered.
“All night long,” Luka promised.
Vasily pressed another kiss to the top of his head. “We will never let you go. We’ll always be there for you, our sweet darling.”
Thank the gods. He was going to need them.
Three days of hunting for elements later, they had everything Amaru said they needed and then some, as he’d taken advantage of their trip to collect anything in the vicinity. Amaru resembled a housewife in a grocery store who had a list but would grab anything on the shelves that caught the eye.
Luka couldn’t blame him. He’d have to rebuild his workspace and storage, after all. He might as well get a jump start on that now.
Amaru loaded up on Luka, Vasily grabbed their gear, and they flew northward once more toward the lake. Flying always felt good, of course; it was indescribable how much a dragon loved to fly. The feeling of the air rushing over his scales, the faint moisture of clouds that brushed against him—it was all perfect. That said, this time, Luka had a hard time enjoying the flight back.
For one reason: Amaru.
His beloved mage was not sleeping. Catnaps, yes. But real, solid sleep? Not really. Unless he and Vasily wore Amaru out with sex—which wasn’t a hardship—or somehow ambushed him, Amaru didn’t sleep.
It made sense, of course. After five hundred years of sleeping, Amaru was likely sick to death of it. Plus, he had a feeling grief might be keeping the man awake. God knew the man had a lot to grieve about. It had to be hard to settle, to sleep, with a heart so heavy. But Luka also suspected that wasn’t the only reason he avoided sleep.
Unfortunately, Amaru was not talking about this. Instead, he was avoiding sleep like a toddler would a nap. That said, he was human. The human body needed a certain amount of sleep. Not just to function, but illnesses would crop up if too sleep deprived. In Luka’s opinion, Amaru was already teetering on the edge of dangerous insomnia. He absolutely did not want it to happen.
He knew Vasily had picked up on this, too. His other mate was just as worried. Vasily was also at a loss on how to fix the problem. Giving it time didn’t seem like the best idea. It would just give the sleep deprivation time to get worse. Vasily had mentioned Sora had sleeping potions to use as a last resort, but Luka would prefer not to lean on them if at all possible.
He thought, and thought, and worried over it, but he couldn’t think of anything he hadn’t already tried. Surely there was a better method out there. Luka just didn’t know enough to ask the right questions.
Before he registered it, they were back at camp. People waved in greeting as they landed. Luka found a good open spot near the camp to land, settling down carefully to avoid jostling Amaru. His mage hopped down lithely, like he’d flown dozens of times before. Likely the case with a Tupã dragon.
Amaru smacked a kiss against his shoulder. “I’m off to deal with my lovelies. Luka, Vasily, you joining me?”
“I will,” Vasily answered as he shifted back to human form. “I’ve got to help you carry all that over, after all.”
In a snap decision, Luka said, “I need to speak with Sora about something. You go ahead, I’ll catch up.”
“Sure.” Amaru’s expression was wild, eyes wide in his face, hair dancing around him like a mad scientist, like a child hyped up with a second wind more than anything.
