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He pulled away too soon, but it took a few beats of my frenzied heart before I was able to open my eyes, finding him smiling sweetly at me. “I guess you’re not mad.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Definitely not mad.”
“So…it’s okay I called you that?” Apparently my lust-blown brain hadn’t caught up to the moment yet.
“I’d love for you to call me that. And I’d love to be your Daddy. I want a relationship with you, if that’s what you want too.”
“It is.” There was no doubt in my mind about that. “But there’s something I need to tell you.”
“What is it?” Knowing exactly what I needed, Amir slid his hand down onto my back once more, and continued rubbing in circles.
“Well, all of the things I like…the toys, the binky,” I added in a quieter voice, “The diapers?” Amir encouraged me with a nod. “I’ve never used them with anyone. I’ve only ever played by myself.”
I explained quickly, “I told you earlier that every guy I’ve dated said I was terrible at it. They said I was too nervous and immature. I wanted to change that, so I went online to search for dating tips. Well, that turned into me searching for reasons why I was the way I was, and that's when I fell down a rabbit hole of regression and age play. When I first found the information, everything immediately clicked.
“I saw pictures of boys playing, and I was itching to try it. I read stories and blogs about the way their Daddies cared for them, and I knew it was what I was missing in my life. I was excited by the thought of someone helping and guiding me; to show me how to be less nervous. I learned that I wasn't immature, I just needed different things than other people.
“I couldn't wait to try, so I bought a few toys for my apartment. The first time I played, hours went by in a blink. I had so much fun and was totally relaxed, which was huge for me." I twisted my hair around my fingers when I admitted, "I was so happy, I cried. It was like everything finally made sense."
"That's wonderful," Amir smiled, his dark eyes sparkling. He was happy for me, which warmed my insides.
"Later on, I tried the binky and diapers, and every new thing just made it better and better, even though I still felt lonely. But I never thought I'd have anyone to share those things with; I thought it would just be something I'd do alone, behind closed doors. The Daddies on the blogs seemed so far away; almost not real. I didn't think I'd ever meet one in real life.
“So I guess what I'm saying is…I have a little experience with the things I like, but I don't have any experience with a Daddy. I barely have experience with men. I've never even tongue-kissed a guy." I was embarrassed to divulge those details, but Amir deserved to know the truth about me. He was older, mature, and confident; he may not want someone so inexperienced. "I understand if that changes your mind about our relationship."
When he assured me, "It doesn't," I let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry that other men have treated you poorly, but I'm grateful to be the first to share these things with you. Please don't worry about what you have or haven't done, or what you may or may not know; I like you as you are, and I just want to make you happy."
"You do." Amir's presence alone was enough to soothe my mind and warm my soul. He beamed and slid his hand onto my hip to pull me closer. He said he wanted me to ask him anything, and there was a question burning on my mind. "Do you have a lot of experience as a Daddy?"
Amir thought for a moment before answering, "Yes and no. I believe that being a caretaker is wired into my personality; I strive to help and make a difference in any way I can. It's something I can't turn off." I could tell that practically from the minute I met him.
"But when it comes to taking on the role of Daddy," he continued, "I don't have a great deal of experience. I've been with a couple of boys who were interested in playtime, but not a relationship; they wanted the fun, but not the commitment."
"That's not what you want?"
Amir shook his head. "I want a boy of my own; to guide, protect, and spoil rotten. I'm at the point in my life where I'm ready to settle down and get serious. I'm not into flings or short term relationships. I'm looking for a partner to share my life with." For the first time since I met him, a glimmer of uncertainty shone in his eyes. "I hope that doesn't frighten you."
